#the feels

🤍🤍🐱🤍🤍

Your week passed with no major events- a blessing as your cycle had hit you on Tuesday, and hard. Mor had been with you Sunday night through Monday afternoon, a lazy day passed with the two of you getting M’aiq used to Mor.

Now, she was willing to play with Mor’s fingers, and had even laid on top of her while you’d been in the bathroom, soaking in the tub to lessen the pain in your abdomen.

Your work week had trickled by, slowed by the pains and discomfort of your cycle, along with your anticipation to see Azriel tonight. As promised, you’d sent him a letter Sunday morning, which was reciprocated with one from him in the afternoon. You loved reading the details of Azriel’s life, hearing about the things that reminded him of you. All week, you’d sent letters back and forth each day, the highlight of each of them besides M’aiq’s entire presence.

You only wished your body would cooperate and let you get to work, but you were still stuck in front of the bathroom counter, hands clutching cool stone as another cramp rippled through you. M’aiq was circling your feet, meowing in that delightfully scratchy voice of hers, glowing green eyes looking concerned.

“I’m fine, baby, I’ll be okay. I just… need to get one of the pain tonics Mor brought for me,” you whispered to her, voice laced with pain. You managed to stumble your way into the kitchen, rifling through your cupboards as you searched for the tonics, finding them in the last one to be opened. Quickly, you uncorked the vial, dumping the contents into your mouth. You grimaced at the bitter taste, filling a mug with water and drinking most of it to wash it from your mouth.

Almost immediately, the pain was gone.

But so was all of your energy.

M’aiq circled around you as you stumbled to the dining table, barely managing to land on a chair and not fall straight to the floor. Fluffy paws tapped on your foot, and you dragged your head to look down, M’aiq’s worried eyes meeting yours. She meowed softly before running away, your heart hurting at the sight.

“That was rude, Eeky,” you said quietly, staring at the darkness under your bed, where she’d vanished to. “So rude,” you whispered, more to yourself than to her as you laid your head on the cool wood of the table. But you still needed to get up, go to work…

Soon though, fluffy paws bapped at your toes again, and you forced yourself to raise your head and look down at her-

And Azriel’s shadow.

“Mreow!” M’aiq said insistently when you didn’t understand her immediately, her tiny silver paws carrying her in circles around the shadow as she continued meowing, eyes locked on you.

“I don’t understand, Eek,” you said defeatedly, resting your head on the table again.

Two minutes of insistent meows later, and your face was being licked. “What are you-?” M’aiq was in front of you, shadow by her side, a piece of paper, quill and ink pot resting on the table. “Oh. Do you think I should send a letter to Sevenda to ask if I can stay home?”

“Mreeoow!” M’aiq’s head bobbed the tiniest bit, the corners of your lips lifting slightly.

“You’re so smart, baby girl, I didn’t even think of that,” you whispered as you set to writing the letter, simple and to the point, and you could barely manage that.

Sevenda, I'm not feeling well today, would it be possible for me to stay home? - Y/N

You waited a minute for the ink to dry before folding it and passing it to Azriel’s shadow. “I need you to take this to Sevenda, and have her write her answer on it before you come back. Can you do that?” The shadow bounced up and down before disappearing, leaving a very satisfied M’aiq in its wake.

“Yeah, yeah, smarty pants,” you giggled before pulling her into your arms. “Thank you, my little sweetheart,” you said, pressing a kiss between her ears, breathing in that sweet baby scent while you waited for a reply.

It didn’t take long, only a couple of minutes for the shadow to return, note fluttering to the table. The extra words written inside had you letting out a breath of relief, your body already crying out for sleep.

“Thank you, little one,” you said, giving the shadow a tiny pat before standing, M’aiq held tightly to your chest. You just managed to make it to the bed, setting M’aiq on her pillow before another wave of exhaustion hit. The blankets were only halfway on when you went out, the tonic’s effect too strong for you to fight any longer.

💙🤍💖🤍💙

“Y/N? Y/N are you okay?”

You blinked wearily at the ceiling, finally pulled from your foggy dreams and into your bedroom.

Everything here felt foggy too.

“Y/N?!” the voice asked, more frantic now. You could almost place whose voice it was, the answer floating at the edge of your brain. “Y/N, if you don’t come to the door I’m coming in!”

You looked to your left, where Azriel’s shadow had been lingering all day, whenever you’d woken. “Can you get that?” you asked quietly, the shadow instantly darting to unlock the door, revealing a wild-eyed Azriel.

“Y/N?” he asked as he stepped into the room, shutting and locking the door behind him. You hastily pulled the covers up to your chin when he started towards the bed. “Are you alright? I went by Sevenda’s to pick you up like we’d planned, but you weren’t there, and she told me you weren’t feeling well…”

“It’s just…” you blushed heavily, embarrassed that your cycle and a pain tonic had taken you out for the day, and the idea of discussing your cycle with Azriel… “Mor gave me pain tonics but I suppose they’re a bit too strong for a human,” you said shyly.

Hazel eyes narrowed for a moment before softening, and your brain kicked into gear.

Azriel was standing at the foot of your bed.

And you were only in a nightgown!

The situation was mortifying, especially when Azriel approached your side, reaching a hand out to touch your face. You let out a squeak before pulling the covers over your face, pulling them down a moment later to see Azriel’s stunned face.

“I’m… In a nightgown,” you said awkwardly, biting your lip to fight the frown that was forming.

“Okay?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow when you shook your head. “Not okay. Do you… Do you want me to go?”

“No,” you blurted out, sitting up slightly before falling back as a cramp hit you. “I just… What about our date?”

“The date I planned for tonight can wait until you’re feeling better and moving around. But I would love to spend the evening with you, if you’d have me.”

If you’d have him? As if you’d ever turn him away. “I’d just like to be more… Dressed.”

“Alright,” he nodded. “I’ll head to the shops to buy things for dinner, and you can get dressed. I’ll also pick up some lighter dosed tonics for you,” Azriel said simply. “Is that alright with you?”

Lips upturned, you nodded. “That sounds perfect, Az.” How were you so lucky to have him, as sweet and caring and beautiful as he is?

He gave you a shy smile, a look that you decided you adored on him. The sight of him alone was nearly enough to get you up and moving. “Any requests for dinner?”

“Something warm?” you said, not wanting anything in particular but knowing you’d appreciate some extra warmth. “Don’t… Don’t take too long, though?”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Y/N. Don’t take any tonics until I’m back with the properly dosed ones,” Azriel warned you, and you giggled at the seriousness of his voice.

“I won’t, Az. I promise.”

There was that cute smile again, and he nodded before turning around, half his shadows following in his wake, the other half drifting over to you, massing themselves in a thin layer over your bed. He started a fire in your fireplace before leaving your apartment, shutting the door behind him while a lone shadow followed behind, locking the door before floating over and joining its siblings.

“Hello, little ones,” you said softly, running your fingers over some of them. They were cool to the touch, like silk brushing against your skin, and soon they were swarming you, clinging to every inch of you, gently nuzzling you as they emitted the faintest hum, so quiet you thought you had imagined it until they repeated the noise a few minutes later.

Once the room had grown warmer, you sighed before tugging the blankets to the side, leaving your cozy cocoon to reach your bathroom. You’d like to take a bath, but you had a feeling you would fall asleep again, and being naked in the tub when Azriel returns would be far more uncomfortable for you than being dressed in only a nightgown. Instead, you used the toilet and washed your face quickly, already feeling a bit fresher. Next, you changed into a different pair of the underwear Mor had gifted you at Solstice and a fresh, thick nightgown, this one made of a cozy blue and black cotton flannel. Over it you pulled on cream silk dressing gown, one of the few nicer articles of clothing you hadn’t been able to part with when leaving the River House. Now you were clothed enough to be comfortable sitting next to Azriel, even if your dress was technically still a nightgown.

Even from such a small amount of effort, you were exhausted. You’d just managed to plop down on the couch when your front door unlocked, opening to reveal Azriel and his shadows entering a moment later. The dark mass moved over to you, swarming around you for a moment before settling down, sinking down to cover your lap, or slide onto the floor to pool around your feet.

Azriel set the groceries he’d bought on your kitchen counter before coming to kneel in front of you, a small vial held gently in scarred hands. “Open, please,” he ordered softly, uncorking the vial and tipping it into your open mouth. You swallowed the tonic, face scrunching at the bitter aftertaste. “Good girl,” Azriel said before planting his lips on your forehead.

You flushed at his words and let your hands pull him lower, pressing your lips to his. “I’m glad you came to check on me,” you whispered when he pulled away slightly.

“I am too, my love. I was worried when I heard you weren’t feeling well from Sevenda, but even more so when I saw that you had just woken up,” Azriel said sadly as he stroked your cheek with his thumb. “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten or drank anything since you took the first tonic, have you?” You shook your head, and he gave you a soft smile. “Well, I bought a few treats for you that I thought you might like, and I’d prefer if you would drink some water and eat something small while I cook dinner for us, if you’re up for it.”

“That sounds nice, Az. And… Thank you, for taking care of me,” you said with a heavy blush on your cheeks.

“I’m happy to do it, Y/N.” Azriel finally stood from his place in front of you, striding into the kitchen and reaching into the bag he had brought with him. He returned less than a minute later with a tall glass of water and a bar of chocolate- dark with swirls of raspberry, as you’d told him you liked in one of your letters over the last week. “Eat what you feel like, but I would like you to try and drink the entire glass, if you can. And I’m making soup, it shouldn’t take more than an hour. Do you need anything else before I get in the kitchen?”

Your smile was so wide you thought it might split your face in two as you looked at Azriel. When you’d first met him, he had seemed so intimidating. But standing in front of you now, Az looked soft, his large wings no longer foreign to you and his hazel eyes looking at you with so much care that you could hardly believe it. “I’m good right here, Az.”

Azriel’s smile matched your own before he turned to the kitchen, setting to work immediately. You opened the bar of chocolate, breaking off a piece and putting it in your mouth, eyes closing for a moment at the taste.

The night passed by too quickly for your taste, time spent eating the lovely chicken noodle soup Azriel had made while talking with him, and later watching him try to lure M’aiq out from under your bed, only succeeding when he placed her food bowl full of freshly cooked steak at the foot of it. He kissed you goodnight at your door, your lips lingering as long as they could before Azriel had to return to the Hewn City.

You shut the door with a sigh, still exhausted from the tonics you’d taken today along with the usual symptoms of your cycle. Sleep sounded nice, but a bath sounded even better. By the time you made it into the bathroom, the shadow that always stayed with you had already turned the faucet on and plugged the drain, hot water filling up the tub quickly. You gave it a small pat before undressing and slipping into the steaming water, the aches you could still feel melting away.

M'aiq toddled over just as you had begun nodding off, her meow rousing you slightly. The sight of her sitting in front of the tub, staring at you expectantly sped your bath along, and only a few minutes later you were out of the tub, drying yourself off as quickly as you could.

The main room was a comfortable temperature now, warm enough to sleep without adding extra blankets to your bed and making you smile. Azriel was so thoughtful, he had taken care of you in every way he could tonight, and each day spent with him had your heart growing more and more fond of him. The smile was glued to your face as you slipped into a fresh nightgown and slid into bed, M’aiq placed on her pillow.

Between Azriel, Mor, and M’aiq, you were feeling more cared for and loved than you had in years.

💙🤍💖🤍💙

The next week flew past for you once your cycle ended on Monday, your excitement for the secret date Azriel had planned growing with each passing day. He had sent little gifts with his shadows every day, sweet notes attached to each box of sweets or new blends of tea that he thought you might like. Mor had come over Monday morning, prodding you for the details of your relationship and telling you about the latest drama in the Hewn City, and how excited she was for Saturday night when the election would be held and she would be freed from responsibility for three weeks.

You were ready for her to have the time off as well, seeing just how stressed and run down your friend was made your heart hurt. It had been a long seven weeks of near constant work and interactions with her bastard of a father, and you were surprised that Mor hadn’t killed him yet.

Friday was already here, your heart beating faster the closer you came to your shift ending, more than ready to dash home and get dressed in time to meet Azriel outside of your apartment at six, regardless of what he had planned. Even if it was something you might not like, you’d be willing to try just about anything for Az.

Josi and Torma could sense your excitement and had come with you when you’d taken your lunch break.

“You’re practically vibrating, Y/N,” Josi laughed as she poked you in the side. You gave her a slightly annoyed look at her touch, only for your attention to snap to Torma.

“You going out with the Shadowsinger again?” Torma asked teasingly, chuckling when your face flushed.

“Of course she is,” a voice said behind you before someone slid into the seat next to you. “Haven’t you noticed how happy she’s been over the last two weeks?”

“Not you too, Wren,” you sighed, stirring your bowl of soup with a pout on your face.

“Sorry, kid. You wear your heart on your sleeve when it comes to him, it’s hard to ignore,” Wren said with a soft smile before turning to his own lunch.

“Yeah, the two of you are adorable, that’s why I tease,” Josi said sincerely. “If it really bothers you, I’ll try to stop.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at her before responding, “No, it’s fine. I’m just… Not used to people teasing me in a nice way.” Your voice was quiet as you said it, but you forced a smile on your face when you saw the sad looks your coworkers were giving you.

“Alright, if you’re sure… So, what are you lovebirds doing tonight. Something salacious?” Torma asked with a grin, her expression widening when you turned beet red.

“No, nothing… salacious,” you said with heated cheeks, almost wishing you’d told them to stop. “I actually don’t know what we’re doing, Az has kept it a surprise.”

“Do you hear that, Torma? Az. She even has a cute little nickname for him!”

“I heard it, Josi,” Torma said with smile, eyes apologizing for Josi. “He’s keeping it a secret, huh? I never would’ve thought the Shadowsinger would be much of a romantic.”

You couldn’t help the grin that slid onto your face at her words. “Azriel is very romantic, he just doesn’t show it to anyone but the one he’s courting.”

“Ooo, courting!” Josi and Torma exclaimed at the same time, earning another sigh from you before returning to your lunch.

The two of them continued to pry for details after lunch, all the way up until you were cleaning your station and washing your hands. You were caught by surprise at the small stream of shadows that came to greet you, wondering if they had also decided to disobey Azriel and sneak away to you until Sevenda popped her head through the door.

“Y/N, you have a visitor,” she giggled before disappearing into the front room again.

You finished drying your hands off, then made your way into the front of house, surprised to see Azriel standing there with a bouquet of pink and lavender roses in his hands. He looked dashing in the navy formal robes he was wearing, his hair even curlier than it usually was, the sight of him taking your breath away for a moment.

“I know we agreed to meet at your apartment in an hour, but I couldn’t wait to see you any longer,” Azriel said sheepishly, and you could just make out the dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“Ooooo!” you heard Josi exclaim behind you, “He is a romantic!”

“Hush!” you said loudly, turning around just in time to see your coworkers holding back giggles before disappearing into the kitchen again. “Sorry about that,” you said, face burning as you came to stand in front of Azriel, accepting the roses that he placed in your hands. “Seeing you even more is never a problem.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Even if you weren’t looking at him, you would know he was smiling just by his voice. “We’d better get going, I do want to get you home at a reasonable time.”

You wasted no time in grabbing his hand and pulling him out of Sevenda’s and back to your apartment, even letting him come upstairs with you to wait in the warmth while you got ready. Your hands reached into the closet, pulling out a dress that you hadn’t worn in over a year, but hadn’t been able to leave at the River House.

The underlay was a deep plum color, with the puffed sleeves and bodice of the dress covered in a delicate black lace. There was a layer of black silk over the back and sides of the skirts, the plum underlay only fully shown on the front third of the dress, and with the high waistline, the skirts fell loosely around you- perfect for moving around, and even making you feel elegant as you do.

Nesta had berated you the last and only time you’d worn it, telling you in no uncertain terms that the dress looked hideous on you. Now though, you had a feeling that she had been lying in an attempt to break your already fragile spirit. But that was a year ago, and you had initially found yourself beautiful in the mirror when you’d donned the dress for Starfall. And now, you had a feeling that someone else would appreciate it as well.

“I’ll be out in a few minutes, feel free to play with M’aiq if she’ll let you,” you said as you grabbed a fresh set of undergarments once Azriel had turned his head towards your bed, where M’aiq was likely hiding.

It took you under five minutes to dress, mostly due to the laces on the back of the dress being easy enough to tighten and tie yourself. And, to your complete surprise, you filled out the dress near perfectly, your body nearly back to the weight it had been, before… before everything. You pushed those thoughts away, instead choosing to refresh your makeup a tad, adding more rouge to your cheeks and a light coat of plum lipstick, the color popping against your still-pale skin- though you were certain that would change, come springtime. Your hair was pinned up quickly, your skill with your hairpin having greatly improved over the two or so months that you’d owned it.

You exited the bathroom to see Azriel at the stove, M’aiq meowing loudly on the counter next to him, hunger having won over fear of a ‘stranger.’ Your legs carried you to them, one arm wrapping around Az’s middle from behind, the other reaching to scratch between M’aiq’s ears. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know, but M’aiq came out from under the bed and led me to the fridge,” Azriel chuckled, his free hand lacing with the one you had on his stomach. “And I figured that the little princess being hungry was something that needed to be rectified before we left.”

M’aiq meowed in agreement, scooting a bit closer to the pan. You giggled at the sight, stroking her fur while she impatiently waited for her food to be finished. You stayed, pressed to Azriel’s back until he had transferred the bits of steak to her food bowl, reluctantly stepping back to let him place it on the ground, M’aiq following soon after.

You heard Azriel’s sharp breath in, eyes wide as you looked at him, wondering what happened, only to see his eyes locked on you. “What is it?” Does he not like your dress? Was nesta-

“You- you look beautiful, Y/N. I’ve always regretted not telling you that at Starfall last year. You took my breath away then, too,” Azriel said, your cheeks pinking at the passion in his voice.

“Thank you, Az.” You were beaming at his words, and breathless when he swept you in for a kiss, his arm keeping you close to him even after you parted. “Now, where are we going?”

“Patience, my dear,” Azriel chuckled, loosening his hold on you slowly. “You’ll know as soon as we get there, and we can leave whenever you’d like.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him when he began leading you to the door, fastening your cloak around your neck before you could even reach for it, his caring touch sending butterflies through you.

You were on the street, arms locked together as Azriel led you to your date locale, taking your time in the icy weather that had coated Velaris in the third month of winter.

“How has work been?” you asked once you were a few blocks from your apartment.

“It’s been… Stressful, recently. The elections are nearly over, though I’m doubting Keir will go down without a fight if he doesn’t win the vote. And the situation in Autumn is progressing at a faster pace than anticipated, now that Eris is sure of his plan,” Azriel said in a tired voice, the exhaustion that his work caused poking through his usually stoic façade.

“I hope Keir loses, but I don’t want you to be under more strain, if he does.” You worried about him, similarly to how you worried for Mor when she was gone. They both had such high workloads- it hardly seemed fair to you, though you figured it wasn’t your place to interject.

“You don’t need to worry about me, love. I’ve dealt with far worse than an enraged Steward,” Azriel said with confidence, leading you across the Sidra, his carefully positioned wings blocking the worst of the wind.

“But I do worry, Az. And I’ll continue worrying because I want you to be safe.” Preferably in your arms, you thought, but kept the sentiment to yourself.

Azriel lifted your hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, flashing that charming smile of his at you. “I’ll do everything I can to stay safe for you, Y/N.” Your heart could barely take how sweet he was with you, each and every time you saw him. He pulled you to a stop, gesturing to the right. “We’re here.”

You could hear the faint sound of music coming from inside, though it sounded different from the music that poured through Rita’s. Azriel pulled the door open and guided you through the entrance, the music clearer now. It was dancing music, not the wild dancing that happened at Rita’s, but instead the music that would play at the village parties, where dance etiquette and proper lessons were required. There were already a half dozen couples dancing on the open floor as you walked in, all of them dancing to the beat in their own ways.

If only you’d had more time to learn, before your life was upturned and you were brought here.

Azriel must have sensed sudden rigidity of your body, because he leaned down and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’m not an expert either. We can slow dance and sway in the corner, if you’d like, or I can teach you the basics of the dances that I do know.”

“Can we do both?” you asked him, looking up to see his hazel eyes shining at you.

“Of course, let’s go find our spot,” Azriel said, now scanning the room for an unoccupied corner. He found one quickly, leading you with a hand on the small of your back, one of his wings nearly curled around you. His hands unfastened your cloak, hanging it on one of the hooks available near the table that he had chosen, tucked in the back right corner of the dance hall. “Have I told you just how beautiful you look tonight?”

You giggled as a blush spread over your cheeks. “Yes, I believe you have. Have I told you how handsome you look right now? Your curls especially,” you said, running one hand through them impulsively.

Azriel grinned at you, then leaned in for a chaste kiss, something you were thankful for. You weren’t quite ready to kiss in public, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you would ever be. “Would you like to eat first, or dance a bit before we order?”

“Mm…” You listened to the music more closely for a moment, and watched the speed of the dancers before determining that you would prefer to wait for a slower song. “Could we order wine, and dance to the slower songs for a bit?”

“That sounds perfect,” Az said, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Go ahead and take a seat, and I’ll go get our drinks. Any preference for your wine?”

“Something sweet, please.” Azriel nodded, then walked around the floor to get to the bar. Your eyes wandered to the other patrons, admiring the way they dance so smoothly, like it was second nature to them. The few times you’d danced you’d been less than graceful, but you were thankful to know that Azriel wouldn’t judge your skill level.

He returned a minute later, two glasses of wine in hand, one red, the other a light blush color. Scarred hands set the lighter colored glass in front of you, then Azriel slid into the seat across from you. “I hope you like it, the bartender said it’s their new favorite dessert wine, straight from Autumn.” The sip you took proved the bartender right, sweetness and the slightest hint of alcohol flowing over your tongue.

“It’s lovely. Would you like to try it?” You offered your glass to Az and he took it readily, taking a small sip.

“That is nice. Now I don’t know how I’ll drink mine, it’ll be far more bitter” he chuckled, passing your glass back and exchanging it for your hand.

A few minutes later, and just enough wine in your system to keep your nerves at bay, the song had changed to a slower tempo, one that you would be much more comfortable with. “Would you like to dance?”

“I’d be delighted, Y/N,” Az said, already standing and pulling you from your seat, one hand landing on your waist once you were upright, the other grasping your right hand. “You know, you inspired me to bring you here.”

“Really?” you asked as your arms looped around his neck, your heeled boots just barely making it possible.

“Mhm. We danced on our first date in the snow, which was magical.” Your heart warmed at the memory, how perfect it had been. The two of you began to sway as he continued, “And I realized that I’d come here nearly every night when I first came to Velaris, and that it had been countless years since I had so much as set foot in a dance hall. But being with you, dancing with you, I suddenly had the urge to come here again, with you and only you.”

“Only me?” you asked shyly, wanting more than anything for it to be true.

“Only you,” Azriel confirmed, leaning down to kiss you softly. “As I said, I’ve only had eyes for you, from the moment I met you.”

You almost let out an embarrassing, excited noise at his words, held back only by you biting your lip, though that didn’t stop them from spreading into a grin. You wished that you could say the same, that you hadn’t had that silly crush on Cassian for so long, but you were here now, and falling for Azriel faster than you could have ever imagined. “You have no idea how lucky I consider myself,” you said as you gazed up at him, following his lead as you danced in small, slow circles. “And how happy I am that we both fell for each other.”

“I could say the same myself, my dear. Two weeks with you, and I’m happier than I’ve been in centuries.”

Centuries. Sometimes you forgot just how many years separated you from Azriel, how much more experience he has, romantic or otherwise. But against all odds, he had chosen you, and that was more significant than anyone he had been with in the past.

You let Azriel lead you into a slow waltz, repositioning your hands and guiding you through the steps, his confidence increasing your own. Az made it so you barely had to pay attention, your eyes glued to him the entire time you danced. His hands never strayed lower than your waist, and his hazel eyes were respectful as well.

Everything he did made you comfortable, made it even easier to trust him. Just as Mor had told you, he had not once pushed for your relationship to move faster than you wanted, and while you were only two weeks into your relationship, you’d heard of how demanding some males could be. He was perfect, in every way.

The two of you danced for more than an hour before taking a break and ordering dinner, and only stayed seated long enough to eat before you were tugging Az back on the dance floor. By the time you got home it was past midnight, and you knew that you might regret staying out so late when morning came around, but you hadn’t been able to tear yourself away from Azriel. He had kissed you goodnight at the door of your building, and waited until you were safely inside to leave, as you’d noticed he liked to do.

Sleep was hard to find, even knowing you needed to wake up in less than seven hours, but you couldn’t help how giddy the constant replay of Az’s smile in your head and his sweet words made you.

❤️🤍💖🤍❤️

Sunday morning, you were walking to work when you were suddenly ambushed, a bouncy blond wrapping you in her arms.

“Y/N! I’m so excited, I have the next three weeks off!”

You giggled as you extricated yourself from her grasp, finally getting a good look at her. Red lipstick and a skin tight, wine red dress were in place as usual, but her chocolate eyes were beaming with more happiness than you’d seen in them since you had met Mor. “I’m so happy for you! Any plans for your time off? Maybe asking out a certain Illyrian?” you asked teasingly, grinning wide when Mor’s cheeks reddened.

“Possibly, though I know I want to spend some time with you, and go visit my dear friend Viviane in the Winter Court. Emerie… If I’m feeling brave, I’ll ask her to go to dinner with me once I return.”

“Drink a glass of wine beforehand, that’ll have you feeling courageous enough,” you laughed, avoiding Mor’s playful smack by a hair. “Really, though, if you like her you should ask her out, and soon. I don’t want you to regret anything, and with the way you talk about her, you won’t regret Emerie one bit.”

Mor sighed dramatically before patting you on the shoulder. “You know, you might be right… If someone else won her affections before me I would be devastated, with how long I’ve pined for her…”

“Ooo, you admitted to pining!” you giggled, unable to help how you were teasing her after how often she had done it to you, the small prods making you more open with Azriel overall.

“Yes, I’ve been pining. Don’t you have to go to work?” Mor asked, rolling her eyes before grinning at you. “I’ll walk you there, if that’s alright.”

“That’s fine, Mor.” The two of you began walking, pace slowing whenever you walked over a patch of ice. “Do you want to come over for a sleepover tonight? I’ll cook whatever you want, to celebrate you being free!”

“That sounds wonderful, sweets! Oh, and we could go shopping tomorrow! I still haven’t taken you, when I promised we would go…”

“Mor, that’s not really necessary,” you said quietly, hoping that she’d drop the subject. You weren’t exactly rolling in marks at this point, and you didn’t want for Mor to pay for everything.

“Yes it is, Y/N. Don’t you want to have even more cute dresses to wow Azriel with? Hmm?” Your heart skipped in your dress, the thought of making Azriel gasp at your appearance again warming you, even in the winter chill.

“Well if you put it like that...” you conceded, a delighted Mor squeezing your arm. You stopped in front of Sevenda’s, giving Mor a hug. “I’ll see you tonight, you can meet me here if you’d like and we can go shopping for ingredients.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, Y/N! I’ll see you in a few hours,” Mor said cheerily, bouncing away in the direction of her apartment as you went inside, greeted by the warmth of the fireplace and Sevenda’s smile.

❤️🤍💖🤍❤️

“Oh, Y/N, you look lovely in this one! What do you think?” Mor asked you, her hands steering you by your shoulders to face the mirror. You stared at yourself, surprised that you didn’t hate the way you look anymore. Instead…

“It looks so pretty on me,” you said quietly, swooshing the skirts of the dress against your legs as you spun in a half circle. Your bones no longer protruded as they had around Solstice, and the small curves you’d gained had filled out every dress you had tried on today near perfectly. It seemed that gaining your independence had been a boon for more than your mind in the last month and a half. The dress was made of indigo silk, and while the dress clung closely to your skin until it hit your waistline, the bateau neckline and long sleeves made the dress feel modest as a whole, just as you preferred.

“I know, sweets! And I’m sure Azriel would feel the same,” Mor tittered, giving your shoulders a gentle squeeze before letting go. “Were there any other dresses I could convince you to try on today?” The sweet look in her eyes and the bat of her lashes did nothing to persuade you, not when Mor had already made it very clear that she would be paying for everything that the two of you bought today, even with your attempts to convince her otherwise.

“Mor, I already picked out fifteen dresses that I like, I don’t need anymore. It’s too much, already.”

“Nonsense!” Mor exclaimed, coming around in front of you to look you in the eyes. “You’ve spent so much of your life worrying and caring for others, and while that should have changed the moment you set foot in Velaris, I am more than happy to make up for lost time. You’re like the sister I never had, Y/N. Let me take care of you.”

You wasted no time in pulling Mor into your arms, tears threatening to fall at her loving words. “Thank you, Mor. Just… Thank you,” you whispered, breathing shaky.

“It’s no problem, sweets. Now, I know you won’t let me buy you any more dresses… But what about lingerie?” Mor asked after you parting, earning a scandalized look from you.

“Mor!”

“Oh, hush,” Mor giggled. “I know you aren’t planning to sleep with anyone before you get married, but wouldn’t you like to be prepared for when that day comes?” Her reasoning did nothing to stop your cheeks from flushing scarlet. “Pleaaase, I really think you’d like shopping for it… You know, imagining the way Azriel would look at you while you wear them, or even just to wear at night to feel even prettier, just for yourself. And I know you could use a few new sets of undergarments, I don’t recall seeing you go shopping for yourself once since you’ve come here unless you were made to,” Mor said with a pointed look.

Your lips fell into a pout, knowing that she was telling the truth about that. The one item you’d bought for yourself was your precious hairpin, and that hardly counted as clothing… “Fine, but you will not be seeing me try anything on,” you said resolutely, stepping around Mor to enter the dressing room again.

“That’s fine by me!” Mor chirped as you undid the laces of the dress and slipped out of it and into the dress you’d worn here, rejoining her as quickly as you could before she tried to foist another dress on you, as much as you appreciated gesture. She was standing at the door, sending the bags to your apartment with her magic just as you exited the dressing room. “Alright, let’s get going!”

Mor led you to a lingerie store tucked away in the middle of the Palace, opening the door and gently guiding you inside with a hand on your upper back, following after you to ensure that you entered the shop. “I’ll only pick out dressing and night gowns for you, and I promise to not choose anything too revealing, if that’s fine by you.”

It took you a moment to reply as you adjusted to the new environment, fighting the blush that had overtaken your cheeks. “Uhm, yeah, that’s fine,” you said quietly before wandering into aisles of lace and silk. You noticed that there were a wide variety of styles, from sheer lace that would hide nothing to the long sleeved, high necked nightgowns that you tended to prefer. The amount of choices before you was overwhelming, though you did end up drifting towards the shelves that held matching underwear sets.

You were busy inspecting the options before you when the store owner approached, or at least you assumed her to be. “Good afternoon miss, did you need help finding anything?”

“Oh, uh…” you paused, feeling completely awkward as you met her eyes. “Is there any way to figure out what… size I am?”

The nerves in your voice had the fae’s eyes softening, and she held up the long strip of evenly marked cloth hanging around her neck. “Yes, I can take your measurements without even touching you, you’ll just need to undress in one of the dressing rooms first. Did you have anything specific that you’d like to try on? I could send them through the side compartment for you, so you only need to undress the one time.”

The thought of being measured sent butterflies crashing through your stomach, though if you wanted your new things to feel right… “That sounds lovely, but would I be able to look around a bit more first?”

“Of course, dear. Take all the time you need, I’ll be at the counter. Oh, and my name is Maraya,” she said with a bright smile before walking away to give you a bit of privacy.

You turned back to the selection before you, lightly running your fingers over a few pairs that caught your eye. The softer colors appealed to you more, creams and soft pastels with delicate lace detailing looking like something you would actually wear on a daily basis. And if they were the correct size, as almost none of your current sets were, you would likely be far more comfortable wearing you purchases today. And while it made you turn even more red, you decided to try on a few darker blue sets, their colors nearly matching the siphons that Azriel used.

You approached Maraya quietly, and thankfully she initiated the conversation again. “Find what you want to try on?”

“Yes, you have a wonderful selection here,” you said as you followed her back to the area you’d been standing in, pointing to each of the pairs that you’d like to try on.

“Very well, take the tape measure and this pad of paper and quill. The measure is enchanted, so as soon as you’re undressed it’ll take measurements and the quill will write everything down, and all you need to do is set the items in the side sompartment, then I’ll grab everything you pointed out in the correct size. Now, go on, the dressing rooms are straight behind you at the back wall, and there is a lock on both the door and the inner sliding door of the side compartment.”

“Thank you, Maraya,” you said, taking the items that she offered to you and heading to the back of the store. It took only a minute or two for the tape measure to finish up, and you did as she’d instructed, standing awkwardly in the nicely size room. You only needed to wait five minutes for Maraya to knock on the lefthand side of the room, the compartment full of the sets you had selected.

Surprisingly, the sight of your body in only your undergarments was pleasant, especially with them fitting you so nicely. And the sapphire sets you had picked out- oh, you could almost see the face that Azriel would make, seeing you dressed so intimately for him. With that thought in mind, you left the dressing room with flushed cheeks and the entire stack of undergarments, surprised that you were thinking so boldly about your future relationship with him. Mor met you when you were halfway to the front of the store, a grin on her lips when she saw the three sets on top, though she held back any comments about buying them with Azriel in mind.

“Do you want to try these on? I found a lot of pretty ones that are a bit different from what you normally wear, but I think you might like them.” She held out her left arm, which had nightgowns and robes hanging by their hooks, her choices for herself held in her right hand. The selection she had found for you was beautiful, all the nightgowns in colors that you liked, with tasteful necklines and shorter hems than you usually wore, though you’d estimate that most of them would reach your knees, which was acceptable enough for you. There were two dressing gowns, one in a royal blue and the other in creamy pink.

“Oh Mor, these are so nice! Thank you for picking them out for me,” you said softly as you grabbed the hangers from her. Mor grabbed the stack you’d had piled in your arms and gently pushed you back to the dressing rooms.

“Go ahead and try them on, I’ll put your things by the front and meet you outside of the dressing rooms, alright?” You nodded and flashed a smile to Mor, excitedly heading back into the dressing room.

They were all lovely and fit you nicely, though just like with the undergarments, you were most excited at how you looked in the sapphire silk nightgown she had picked out. Perhaps… If you and Azriel married- but you were getting ahead of yourself.

Though… As Mor had said, it would be nice to be prepared for when that day came.

You met Mor outside of the dressing rooms, heading to the front of the store. Mor refused to let you pay, her bank card hitting the ledger before you could even attempt to grab yours. Maraya bid you farewell, and you were almost certain that you would see her again, especially if you do end up getting married.

It was a cold walk back to your apartment, both your and Mor’s arms laden with bags, most of the purchases for you.

“So, I was thinking we could stop by Sevenda’s to pick up dinner, and we could have a nice, cozy night in while I make you tell me every detail of your and Az’s relationship,” Mor suggested, a hungry sparkle in her brown eyes that you knew could only be satisfied by gossip.

You rolled your eyes at her playfully and nodded, already taking the turn that led to the restaurant that felt like home to you. “Fine, fine. But I am paying,” you insisted as you tugged her through the door.

Sevenda’s warm smile greeted you. “Ah, Y/N! I had a feeling you’d show up today. Is there anything I can get you ladies?”

“I think two bowls of your chicken curry and some flatbread to go would be perfect,” you said, glancing at Mor to make sure you weren’t overstepping by ordering for her. She merely flashed you a smile, and you turned back to Sevenda. “And a bottle of wine, if you can spare it.”

The smile Sevenda gave you was wide as she replied, “I can always spare a bottle for one of my employees, dear. Now, both of you take a seat while you wait.” You opened your mouth to protest, knowing that the restaurant would soon be crammed with patrons for dinner, but one stern look from your boss had it closing.

While you waited, Mor told you more about her friend in Winter- Viviane, a powerful warrior who had held out against Amarantha, and more recently was named High Lady of Winter.

“I wish you could come with me, I think you’d love how stunning the snow is in Winter. Oh, and the hot chocolate Viviane makes is otherworldly, even by fae standards,” Mor gushed, her excitement nearly seeping out of her pores. “I have to take you sometime, once Feyre and Rhys-” she paused, brown eyes nervous now.

“Once my sister and her mate stop being stupid and cruel is what you meant to say, I believe.” You forced the tension out of your shoulders at the sudden reminder that you were trapped in this city.

“I didn’t-“ Mor stopped, her shoulders curling in. “I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to change their minds, Y/N.”

You smiled at Mor, and you hoped it was reassuring enough. “Mor, you’ve done more for me than anyone else in this city. You have nothing to apologize for, not with me. You… I consider you my sister, at this point,” you admitted quietly, hoping that your coworkers wouldn’t hear.

Brown eyes sparkled with tears at you from across the table, and Mor took one of your hands in hers. “You’re like the sister I never had but always longed for, Y/N. My only regret is that I didn’t reach out to you sooner.”

You smiled at her words, “Mor. You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

Blush dusted your friend’s cheeks. “I know, I just… want to say thank you. For letting me in.”

“And I want to say thank you back. You saved me, Mor.” Now both of you were misty-eyed, just in time for Sevenda to return with your food and wine already bagged.

“You girls go on home, and enjoy the food,” she said cheerily, attempting to wave you out without paying.

“What about-”

“It’s the first time you’ve come in as a patron since you started working for me, Y/N, everything is on the house tonight. Now go! Enjoy your night, dears,” Sevenda insisted, already corralling the both of you to the door.

“Thank you, Sevenda,” you said, a tad more emotionally than you’d like, after your conversation with Mor. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes you will, now both of you walk safely, it’s slippery out!” she said, pushing you outside and closing the door before you could think twice about not paying.

The walk back to your apartment was quiet, though you linked arms with Mor despite the bags you both held, savoring each moment with her, knowing that the bond you felt with her was reciprocated.

Your new sister walked beside you, warmer and more caring than any of your blood sisters would ever be.

❤️🤍💖🤍❤️