Tangerine Python

i find sherlock's relationship with touch incredibly interesting, especially when its related to watson.

throughout the show, sherlock is seen declaring his undying love and devotion for watson in the most matter of fact way possible. bouncing on his feet, eyes darting everywhere. standing firmly on the ground, gaze fixed on her. frenzied, relaxed. he has told her how much she means to him time and time again, in all ways possible. and yet, when it comes to touch, he shies away. those screenshots are from s5? s6? yeah so by that time he has made FAR more intimate declarations, so it stands to no reason why he should fuckin. poke her to wake her up😭😭

it is no secret that sherlock is, at least to some extent, touch averse. yes he has sex, but casual touch is Not his thing. whenever people get too chummy with him (physically) his look of disgust/unease is very apparent. to him, touch is usually seen as a means to an end. he seems to give touch easily when it's related to sex, something that gives him pleasure (which is also something he seems to view quite clinically. it's less about intimacy and more about endorphins and such. #asexualsherlock). he does not, however, touch people just cause. he doesn't give casual touches easily. so it's easy to say that even if he Does love joan a lot, he doesn't exactly like physical touch in the manner of hugs, arms on shoulders, etc. and its totally valid, because not being comfortable with physical affection doesn't mean you love someone any less.

but! it doesn't end here. sherlock's feelings about touch w.r.t joan evolves throughout the show, just as their relationship does.

in season 2, joan gets kidnapped. sherlock is beside himself, and mycroft tells him that joan is "the person you love the most in the world". very early on its established just how much she means to him.

this scene was so impactful. maybe more so than it would've been if sherlock hugged her or frantically checked her for injuries. the first time I watched it, I was struck by the sheer weight of his gaze as he stood in front of her and just. stared. how he crossed the distance between them and stood so close, and yet didn't touch. silent, but breathing hard. not a single movement made and yet, i could see him almost vibrating out of his skin. the noise in his head finally just. stops. she was here. watson was here. and he didn't need to touch to make sure, no—it was her. he could never mistake her. not her, never her.

and watson must've known it too, known his desperation. after all, she is the one who knows him best. that's why right after she sees him she says "it's okay. it's alright." when he comes close, she doesn't move. doesn't step back to put any distance between them. looks back at him steadily, sees the noise in his head, the trapped chaos in him. softly, softly, she says: "im alright."

this scene from s4 is the first time joan hugs sherlock. he doesn't seem to be expecting it, so he just. freezes. you can see him realising what happened only seconds after the hug got over.

this is so lovely because watson doesn't linger. she doesn't ask him why he isn't hugging her back, because she knows. she knows he isn't really comfortable with physical affection, and that's why throughout the series we see her keep any physical touch limited when it comes to sherlock. but sometimes it just bursts out of her, all that love and relief and just the sheer magnitude of it. so she hugs him, and doesn't wait for him to hug her back. sherlock has always been better with words and actions. she knows without a doubt that he loves her, so this does not bother her at all. but she needs to show it, you know. she can't bare her heart to him through words as often as he does to her. this is how she loves, and she's aware that this is not how sherlock loves, too. and she's okay with that.

what strikes me the most is the surprise in sherlock's face. the momentary glitch in his brain that is always in overdrive. he always does that whenever watson expresses her love for him, when she shows that she loves him as much as he loves her in her own way. it's baffling. he lies and he is rude and he is a lost cause. and yet, she loves him. his dear watson.

scene from s6 that kills me. my god. the way she's hugging him. the way she holds him closer even after he says "my personality has not changed, watson." what sets this hug different from the previous one is the ease of his shoulders. he didn't expect the hug, sure, but he doesn't look like his fight or flight response has been triggered, either. AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S SO SO IMPORTANT ABOUT THIS SCENE??? THE WAY HE DOESN'T TRY TO SHRUG HER OFF. he doesn't hug her back, sure, but look at the placement of his hands. after he gets the text he is holding his other hand in a way that makes sure he isn't jostling her too much. steadying their hug. he isn't the one who says "that's enough now, we have to go." WATSON is the one who pulls back after she's done. he is keeping her steady. HE IS KEEPING HER STEADY. HE DOESN'T WANT HER TO LET GO. WHATEVER!!

s6 again. here, he invites her for a hug, more or less. he is expecting it this time. arms open, grin blinding. he knows she'll come to her. he's home. he's back by her side.

the most interesting part about it is that he still doesn't hug her back. and it's not that he doesn't want to hug watson, no, but it's that it's too much.

it is established very early on that sherlock experiences everything—be it emotions or senses—a lot more intensely than the average person. throughout the series, there are many many scenes where he has declared his love for her and almost every time, he seems stricken. shaken by the intensity of the love he feels for her. it seems to hurt him sometimes, and often overwhelms him. he doesn't have anything against hugs, you see. he hugs marcus back in the beginning of s7, smiling. but never once has he hugged back joan (till that point) when she has hugged him. and i submit that it's not because he loves her less that he doesn't hug her back—it's because he loves her in ways he can't really express. it's bigger than him, you see. this kind of love is unfamiliar to him. what he had with moriarty was different. but this? he is utterly unprepared for this.

and then, crescendo .

no longer will he try to hold himself back. he almost lost her because he wanted to hold himself back, because he told himself that he is too much, too rotten, burning, burning and he thought he will take her down with him because his watson, his dearest watson, is good. she will follow him willingly. he thought he was sparing them both the hurt, and he almost lost her because of his stupidity. so it doesn't matter if his skin feels like it's on fire when he holds her. it doesn't matter if all the love he has labelled and put in neat boxes spill out, messy, never ending. it doesn't matter if she thrashes against his hold and tells him she's fine. it doesn't matter if she fights his love. he's staying. of course he's staying.

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.

So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.

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I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.