o my enemy, do i terrify?

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

Fish aren’t dumb for biting worms on a fishhook. If there was a jolly rancher in a gun barrel I would at least try to grab it out

you should care about kids because they’re people, btw. not because they’re “future adults” but because they are people right now and they deserve to be treated like people.

It's fun being queer and weird and unconventional until you remember you live in a society

im NOT feeling shrimptastic im going to KRILL myself

If you play your cards right when you die you get to be a poison ghost instead of a regular ghost

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

Soon enough the cigarette emoji 🚬 will go the same way as the real gun emoji and they will replace it with Blue Raspberry Ice Sour Fuck 9000 Disposable Vape