car is bad for MANY reasons but being a private place to belt along to music is not one if them

An imagined version of yourself living happily in an alternate universe is a kind of dead wife

"omg you remembered!" of course i did. I have a file on you

My disguise fucking sucks and i am going to get killed

Would it be considered “gay” to go for a walk in the evening?

yes like obviously

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

@uwathebestgirl

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

every day it just concerns me how little compassion people have. no compassion for those living in the global south. no compassion for immigrants. no compassion for disabled ppl. no compassion for addicts. no compassion for prisoners. no compassion for children. like holy shit ...

I love when people whose first languages have grammatical gender use the wrong pronoun in English. "this river is so green because he is fed by glaciers" aw the river is Just A Little Guy. your version of my language is better

My roommate just called from the kitchen to ask what was wrong because I laughed so hard I gave myself a coughing fit.

I'm so glad the music is what I thought it'd be.