⭐️True Wizard Facts⭐️

the wizard blog will keep accumulating obscure lore until morale improves

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay... i can still see the folds on your wizard robe... iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it's really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn't being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

You talk all this mess about wizard hats, and yet I don't ever see you wearing one 🤔

im not doing any whimsical christmas shenanigans this year. who give a shit

okay nevermind i accidentally drank a shrinking potion and got left behind by my minions on our annual holiday trip to paris

im Gnome Alone !

god fuck my stupid wizard life

basically i think some people are just pondering the orb for clout now

Treat your apprentices right or don't have any smh

Back in my day 'died to their own incompetence' was a perfectly good answer. But nooo, Unions keep trying to give 'acceptable learning conditions' and 'basic human rights' to this snowflake useless losers.

Sounds like you're not a competent enough wizard to keep them alive

Oh I

How it feels to stand atop a low hill while a light breeze blows by.

wizard fact of the day: you can’t legally kill me!

Oh yeah watch this *Hip thrust with murderous intent*

elvis i will put you back in the orb i swear