you can't call the gods on toll-free numbers

turning a big dial taht says "pjackk is banned" on it and constantly looking for approval like a contestant on the price is right

I like when cats are like busy doing something and not really in the mood to be pet so they like walk past you at exactly the right distance to be just barely out of reach and if you lean forward they very slightly increase their pace to avoid getting caught in the affection zone. Like oh sorry sir I didn’t realize you were in the middle of important business. We can reschedule this for another time

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

in 3 days pjackk will return from the dead to usher in a new era for mankind. #disciple

okay hes actually just really dead #sorry

sorry i meant 3 months #disciple

pjackk's corpse has washed up upon the shore rusted and covered in seaweed

they pushed his corpse back out to sea

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to touch the hot stove with my bare hands. But now I get to do it whenever I want

This is far funnier than I thought it would be. The lack of context on some of these is both brilliant and making me want to find and watch Tom Scott's videos.