For Nonbinary Men Who Love Men

please, please, please remember that this "hating transmascs" and "kill all TMEs" bullshit is just a few edgy weirdos on the internet who enjoy saying inflammatory things for shock value.

transfems are not your enemy, and YES, you do actually need to unlearn transmisogyny. Not because you're transmasc, but because we live in a transmisogynistic society.

transfems are not a hivemind, there's no broader transfem consensus that transmascs are Evil Privileged Abusers, but the small group of people who think that way WANT you to believe that they are representative of trans women everywhere. they're super not. they really are just a handful of angsty people online looking for someone to pick on.

all trans people have more commonalities than differences. there aren't two distinct species of trans people from two different planets, there are just trans people with a wide diversity of experiences and walks of life. we are all affected by the same systems of oppression.

Many transmascs will also go very extreme with diet and exercise to try to make up for lack of access to t, mastectomy, masculinizing liposuction, etc. Even effectiveness of t depends on some amount of exercise

It's also pretty much impossible to go stealth without top surgery without binding an unhealthy amount. And that all depends on ability to bind without too many adverse effects, accesibility of binders... Needless to say outside of the US you won't be able to buy one at a Target or Amazon or whatever. If my breasts are visible I'm not gonna get treated much differently from a trans woman *especially because* I pass as a man

Lack of visibility also leads to difficulty accessing services from name change to medical stuff. Often goverment workers feel too self-conscious to ask questions so they just clam up and give me worse service as a result. Passing makes this worse in that people are genuinely baffled that I look like a man but I'm a trans man and not a trans woman

We also need to be talking about access to reproductive care, shelter, employment, benefits, abortion, access to PrEP and PEP... So many people are abused by family or partners and don't have the resources and ability to leave

So, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you other white folks — You have to care about Black men. You have to care about Brown men. You have to care about Native and Indigenous men. You have to care about Asian men and that means all Asian men, not just East Asian men.

If you are white it is imperative to EVERY kind of anti-racist belief and action that you vocally care about men who are not white.

You dont *have* to be feminine. But you're allowed to be.

You dont *have* to be androgynous. But you're allowed to be.

Your identity is not cookie cutter. You don't have to force yourself into any category, you don't have to adjust your choices to appeal to others.

https://bsky.app/profile/theodoresnapdragon.bsky.social/post/3mnaup76pjk2g

I love you transfems who realize they are still gay men

I love you transfems who still can't quite figure out their sexuality

I love you transfems with contradicting and confusing sexualities

I love you transfems with ever-changing sexualities

I love you transfems who are aromantic and aren't attracted to anyone

I love you transfems who don't care about romance

I love you transfems who love other transfems & trans women

I love you transfems who love transmascs & trans men

I love you transfems who are gaybian or sapphilean

I love you transfems who are sapphic