Inside Madeleine's mind.

what's kinda interesting is that while this thing knows it has a neo-cunt, so must, theoretically, have not had a cunt beforehand, it actually doesn't remember much about what it was like to not have a cunt outside of a few brief memories and strings of thought. it knows that it was deeply dysphoric about not having a cunt so as soon as it realised these options were open to it, it rushed at them with all the fury of a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn't about to let anyone stop her from getting it.

talking with surgeons was a little awkward, since they have to handle your junk, and there was a whole thing with how there were two surgeons doing NHS surgeries at the time and one of them had pissed off its ex so it got on the books of the other for its own surgery. he was a nice enough guy, though it hadn't actually met him more than once before the surgery. appointments were limited for that kind of thing.

for the surgery itself, it went down to london on its own, spent the night in a hotel, and the next day went in for the surgery. it remembers getting so nervous in the waiting room on its own, thinking about how it could have just walked out and left and no one would be able to stop it, it was 100% free to make that choice. it stayed. there were risks involved, but at the time it had come to a place of feeling like even if the surgery fucked up and it was left with nothing at all down there, it would be worth it to be rid of what had been there.

it remembers the next week kinda hazily. it remembers the first poop it took after its surgery was like four days after and the size of a large rat. its nestie and its mum and some friends visited it over the week it was kept in hospital, and it spent its time on a ward with a bunch of other trans girls. most older, one younger, though it kept itself isolated from them all. it's a little sad about that, but it really just wanted to be left alone so it could recover; it wasn't a holiday, it was recovering from surgery. when it left the hospital it ate a ham salad, got a train ride home - first class - and was seen to its own bed where it wishes it could say it recovered peacefully over the next few weeks...

remember the salad it mentioned a couple of lines up? it got food poisoning. it spent most of a week basically unconscious except to dilate. it could barely eat and was put on a diet of liquid electrolytes by a gp who had to do a home visit. also, while it was recovering, one third of the poly triad it was in decided she wanted to kill this thing because she couldn't handle that its nestie loved it and she had to share their attention (that lass should never have been pushed into poly with us). aaaaanyway... the short version is that it doesn't remember much of early recovery except that dilation was a massive chore around being sick and dealing with that crap.

it did, of course, survive all that and it now has a cunt that it's quite proud of. it looks good, feels great, and is a great place for girls to stick their dicks if that's something they'd like to do. lewd comments aside, it's usually pretty happy to let trans girls take a look and explore it in a non-sexual way too. it's a lot harder to absorb fearmongering around the surgery when you can see for yourself what's likely to happen - this thing's surgery was smooth and successful.

this thing's cunt needs a little extra lubrication for sex, but it is basically everything you'd expect from a cunt. it's great, tbh. it hopes that anyone who wants a cunt like this can find a way to get one. it knows that the NHS is an absolute disaster for trans healthcare now, so it knows how lucky it is to have been able to strike at the perfect time to get through the system and get its surgery when it could. if it'd been off by even as little as a few months, this would be a very different story.