Okie dokie

everytime i move i crunch like popcorn

and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly

Yall are actually hospitable to y'alls hookups??? I never even let mine use the bathroom with the door closed. I’ll be damned if I let a fag steal my $30 vitamin C serum.

either that or take them to a p*rk in the d*rk sis 🌃🌙👀

And have mosquito bites on my taint??? No thanks

Idk maybe because I’m from Florida… but I can’t nut unless there’s mosquitos succin on my gouché 😌

Idk why God keeps letting you survive hurricane szn

Mosqussies??? Excuse me?!

I’m sorry can we go back to the 30 dollar serum? What are you scared he’s gonna steal your vaseline and your toothpaste too ?

Jesus

I bet those two are couple now..

I’m gay

me too

This is such a great story

living for this addition tbh

that was the uggliest sound I’ve ever heard….. lol 

when he pulls out

LMAOOOOO

Why is this the type of humor I enjoy

who did this

I am broken as a person and I don’t even care

you’re doing god’s work here

fuck you

The first line is six syllables.

Poem is two syllables. Po-em.

Poem is ONE syllable, who the fuck uses two syllables to say poem?

What the fuck are you on about? Literally just say it out loud. Po-em. One syllable would be like Pome.

“Pome” IS how you say it you neanderthal. Who the fuck says PO-EM?

We have come full circle.

I love it every time

i love the immediate comeuppance of this expert

That last one honestly belongs in hell

I want to be Louise when I grow up

The writing in this show is so flawless

the “dont tell me to shut up” part has me in stitches all the time

[video: a seal emerges from a hole in the ice to breathe. It yells “Ah! Woo!” then sinks back down]

The ahh was so much deeper and the woo so much softer than i could have expected i love it

She

when the fuck did i do this? i have no memory of this

Six-year-old me trying to make inanimate objects move with my mind after watching Matilda