Hey mother nature i love you and shit but likeâŚ.what the fuck my good bitch
Goodness!
Okay. Iâm Canadian so I know a shit ton about staying warm if youâre new to the cold there here are some tips!(add more if you know more!)
1. Wear grippy shoes, nothing is worse than snowmelt freezing on your skin.
2.Do not wear jeans as your outter layer. wet denim is the most body heat siphoning mother fucker known to man or god
3. Have a warm drink with you. It will help. Even just some hot soup broth or boiled water will help keep you warm.
4. Wear a moisture wicking layer close to your skin so you donât get cold from your own sweat. You will sweat. That is fine and expected.
5. If you start feeling too warm even though you were cold and like you have to take your clothes of DO NOT. Call 911. You are suffering from hypothermia.
6. Bring a blanket and a heat source that needs no electricity with you in your vehicle. You do not want to be stranded with no heat in the case that something happens.
7. If you are struggling on ice as youâre walking, stop. Get your balance and penguin shuffle to a less slippery patch of ground. Thereâs usually less ice on one side of the walk and itâs better to walk in the snow next to the sidewalk than it is to eat dirt when ya slip
8. STAY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK AWAY FROM FROZEN BODIES OF WATER. Ponds are deceptive as shit even with the âsolid blue tried and trueâ thing. Go around.
9. Keep kids warm. They run at a higher body temperature and will feel the effects of the cold worse than you.
10. Huddling is your best friend. Even if you donât know the person, remember youâre both cold, especially if they donât have the right clothing for the weather.
11. Pay attention to windchill. That is how cold it feels. Dress appropriately please. I know itâs tempting to dress for style, but thereâs nothing stylish about losing your toes to frostbite
12. Donât touch metal if you can avoid it. It will sap your heat and likely freeze to anything wet. Like tongues. Donât fucking lick a pole.
13. If someone licks something metal, pour warm water over their tongue to get them free. If they yank, they will bleed. A lot.
14. Keep your ears, noes, fingers, and toes warm. Youâre extremities will get cold first and are the most likely parts of your body to get frostbite.
15. If you see someone who may not have a place to be in the cold, offer to help them find a local shelter or library. The elements, especially the cold, are some of the largest threats to those who cannot avoid them.
16. If you find yourself stuck outside for a long time, sleep during the day when it is warmest, and avoid sleeping on the ground. Stay awake as much as you can at night so you have a better chance of staying warm.
17. Windchill below -20 degrees fahrenheit typically qualifies for a weather advisory. You should take EXTREME caution in these conditions.Â
18. If in a windchill advisory zone, cover as much skin as possible. Frostbite can happen in as little as 10 minutes of exposed skin. Early signs of frostbite can be as simple as areas of your skin turning pale.Â
19. If in a windchill advisory zone, cover your mouth with a scarf while outside. The shocking cold air from outside can damage your lungs otherwise.
20. Layer up! Multiple layers of clothing underneath can be as important as a good winter coat. At least three top and bottom.
More tips from someone who used to live in Russia:
21. Soothe your hands and feet in lukewarm water when you get indoors. Donât go straight to hot, and donât just stick them in front of your radiator like you might otherwise.
22. If you donât have laundry in your building, your radiator can dry out clothes. Donât be afraid to put them right on top. Just take them off before you go to bed.
23. Drink lots of fluids. Extreme cold makes you notice your thirst even less than you would in normal winter weather.
24. If you donât have thermal leggings, a pair of tights can go under your pants and help a lot. Tights can also double as a base layer for your chest and arms. Just flip them upside down and cut a hole in the crotch.
25. Donât swing your arms when walking. I know itâs tempting. Donât.
26. Socks can be layered too. Also plastic bags between layers will cut down on windchill and keep your feet dry.
27. This applies to hats as well.
28. If you get stuck outside for a weirdly long period, find the vents outside a house or over a subway. Itâs better than nothing.
-If you are out shopping, or doing something that means you will be going into warmth then back into the cold over and over, take off your outer layers when you go in. The last thing you want to do is work up a serious sweat then go back out wet. -Wear mittens instead of gloves. Wear real wool. -Absolutely do NOT try to warm yourself with a ânip of brandyâ or other alcohol. This âtipâ needs to die. -If you lose power during a storm, you can warm a small area by making a reflector with aluminium foil and candles. Form the foil into a cave shape that frames the candle at the top, back, and sides with several inches of space (Think of those light fixtures that are along the edge of a theatre stage). Make a few of these, set up stands or tables at each corner of your bed to radiate the heat inward. I did this when an ice storm a few years ago knocked out power in my province for about a week. It also makes a pretty decent light source. Just be sure not to leave the candles burning unattended or near anything flammable.
29. Eat. Eat, eat, eat. Even if youâre just going outside for 10-20 minutes, eat a sizeable snack before you go. Your body heat is a byproduct of your bodyâs metabolic activities, and about 80-90% of the calories your body burns, it burns for the sole purpose of keeping you at a stable 98.6. In cold temperatures, your metabolism is going to kick into overdrive, and you need to fuel it accordingly. This is not the time to be worrying about diets and weight gain; your furnace needs fuel.
30. Fuck fashion. No one cares that your gear doesnât match. When I lived in Minnesota, no one said a damn thing about my bright blue boots and my violently purple coat clashing. What they did say? âThat looks warm.âÂ
31. If you have real fur or wool, wear it. Animals have that stuff for a reasonâitâs warm. Iâm lucky enough to have a genuine fur ushanka that my sister brought me from Russia, and the first time I wore that in -15 (before windchill) was the day I learned that your ears can sweat. My great-grandmotherâs mink was heavenly. The âdownâ filler in my coat was synthetic, but I bet genuine down wouldâve been wonderful.Â
32. Itâs not so much about the layers as it is whatâs between the layers. Namely, the air. You know why down vests and coats keep you so warm? Itâs because in between the feathers and fluff is dead air. You heat up that air and keep it close to yourself, and thatâs how you stay warm. I liked to alternate my layers between close-fitting and loose-fitting to create lots of air pockets around my body, and seal it all up with my snug-fitting, very insulated coat.
