Well Come Bitches

i am indifferent towards your shoelaces

thanks. i obtained them through entirely legal means wholly unrelated to any country's head of state

...do they not know? Do they not understand the ancient texts?

The old ways are not taught to the younger generations, they are left to be forgotten along with the tragedies of the past.

looked up my symptoms on webmd and it turns out i have an ancient ancestral curse that has been passed down my bloodline for generations

okay fine it was hereditary mental illness i just wanted to sound cool so i made something up. are you mad at me.

3 AM feels more like the middle of the night than midnight itself

stop saying "sorry for party rocking", instead try "thank you for your allowing me to party rock" or "I appreciate you being patient with me as I party rock, in the house tonight"

Best way to troll is to agree, and then take it a step further.

who gives a shit about the Oscars or celebrities

No no they're right

Yep, worth reblogging everytime I see it.

Why did nobody in Fullmetal Alchemist carry around some fucking backup transmutation circles. Like Riza is there with a box full of fresh gloves for Roy when he gets soaked but you’d think after the first time he got rendered useless in a fight by some dude with a water bottle he’d start carrying around a spare set in a waxed bag or something but NOOOOO. And Ed’s even fucking worse like his arm gets destroyed how many times???? AND HE ACTS SURPRISED EVERY TIME. OH NO MY ARM. NOW I CAN’T ALCHEMY. Shit, boy, draw some transmutation circles ahead of time and keep em in your coat, this isn’t hard. “Oh no, you’ve destroyed my arm again, whatever shall I SIKE” Ed says, before throwing a rock with ‘explode’ written on it at his attacker and making good his escape. Everyone’s always carving shit into their skin or drawing it in their own blood, HOW BOUT INSTEAD YOU CARRY A PIECE OF FUCKING CHALK. Alchemists are useless

Alphonse wrote this post