Discoholic 🪩
oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
🪼
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
shark vs the universe
RMH
d e v o n
@theartofmadeline
Andulka
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Origami Around
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@hyrulealchemist
The only thing stopping Shane Hollander from being open about his sex life with his close friends is that it would out him. As soon as they know he's gay? Shane Hollander, who chose to make a joke about how much he likes bottoming immediately after acknowledging he's not straight for the first time, during a breakup conversation in a public place? He would be a fucking menace
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One day Shane finds a shoebox full of random stuff at Ilya’s house like old hotel keycards, coasters, mini toiletries, receipts and can’t fathom why he’s kept these things. Then he slowly realizes they’re all little keepsakes from times they met up over the years.
I know a lot of us like to imagine that Shane was so repressed he never really watched porn prior to having sex with Ilya (and in the book he does say, the first time they had anal sex, that he had watched about 30 seconds of gay porn one time and then got embarrassed and shut it off) but like I don’t think that’s true because I think Shane is Normal and he knows he’s Normal and he knows normal guys watch porn and he’s A Normal Guy so therefore he watches porn. Because he’s so normal. I just think he was watching straight porn and only looking at the man
so that being said I don’t think that Shane’s beautiful mind would have come up with the idea of being fucked by a woman in a vacuum. (because he just, like, doesn’t really think about women.)
but I DO think that he might have stumbled onto pegging porn pretty early on. because even before he met Ilya, even before he ever considered doing anything with another guy, I think he kind of already knew he didn’t want to be the one fucking.
Shane: “Hmm why do I like the MMF threesomes?”
Shane: “Why do I like videos of BJs but only when you can’t really see the girl’s face too much?”
Shane: “Sometimes I just watch the solo vids of guys jerking off but that’s for research so I can get better at it, that’s all”
Shane: “What is that ad in the corner of Pornhub for penis enhancements and why am I looking at it more than the video of regular straight porn?”
Shane: “I’m not really looking at that pop-up it’s just there accidentally”
Shane, many years later, happily married to a guy who fucks his brains out, self-accepting and freaky, busting into their bedroom with a video on his iPad of something he wants to try:
Ilya when Shane busts in: “oh you have been watching porn again. OK let’s see it”
The porn: some of the freakiest shit Ilya has ever seen in his life
Ilya:
Shane:
It makes me laugh that every hockey player is like “FUCK ROZANOV HE IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE” and then Ilya is playing with kids in the pool 🥹 saying “I love you” to his teammates 🥹 leaving his niece a fund despite his horrible brother 🥹 like he is the sweetest softie 🥹
The bisexual superpower of Ilya Rozanov simply looking at Shane Hollander and going "Cute. Freckle. I wonder if he'll let me fuck him in his ass" and he was 100% correct.
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If they'd clocked David's presence before kissing against the glass, I honestly would have loved to see Shane try and explain away Ilya's secret presence at his cottage. Like they still go over for dinner and Shane is desperately trying to pretend that he and Ilya just play up the rivalry for the cameras and they've actually been Good Friends™ for years and he just never mentioned it because it was good for the Game and Yuna really seemed to hate him and its kinda awkward to explain yada yada yada, it doesnt matter, Yuna and David stopped paying attention several minutes ago because Ilya has a hickey and theyre trying to find a polite way to point that out
don’t ever call me op. you will address me by my full name
obert pobert
amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)
This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:
He only visits once a year, I splurge big on him when he’s here, His kisses make my tastebuds tango. Who, bitch, your man? Nah, bitch, a mango.
I'm coming to the cottage (wearing the very same pants you were wearing when you ran away from me 8 months ago)
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did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning
did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it
what do you mean this isn’t what happened
endlessly endeared by the idea that shane ends up driving them almost all the time because he is notorious for conking tf out in the car as a passenger so the only way they're going to have car couple time is if he's actively engaged.
...which ilya only discovers after he manages to joke/negotiate/tease his way into finally being the driver with "what, hollander? you are this afraid of driving faster than ten miles under the speed limit? you cannot share the steering wheel?"
and shane is SO determined to stay awake. past experience be DAMNED he will stay awake as a passenger so help him GO-
and then ilya glances over like. TWELVE MINUTES into the drive because shane's grip on his hand got looser and shane is OUT. man is GONE. and ilya is a lil ??? you?? okay??? like?? this is summer?? you should be VERY well-rested??? there should be no reason for you to conk out THIS fast??? oh my god?? did my driving scare him enough?? to pass out??? i was BARELY speeding???
do not separate them!!!!
what do you mean my childhood affected me
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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a moth flies out of my wallet and I instantly kill it with my sword, awarding me the gold pieces necessary to make my purchase
