hey, i was already robbing this bank!

ice cream truck blasting gymnopedie no. 1 while a bunch of really forlorn children chase after it

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

🧛 nathing vrong vith me

can you fly my white ass to the moon so i can play among the stars

I wish Carrie & Lowell felt less like a sucessful exercise in generating “Sadness” and more like a collection of songs that the artist cared about writing

this is so funny the guy from car seat headrest thinks Carrie & Lowell is disingenuous. next up, Elvis Depressedly on why Elliot Smith was a fraud

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

i need a polycule of tall skinny white guys preferably like around 10 of them so i can dress them up in nice outfits and give them cute little red ribbon chokers. (hiding a bowling ball behind my back) For no real reason