lives without a body and speaks without a tongue

publius clodius pulcher rolls the "worst joint ever", asked to LEAVE the bona dea festival

one thing i got from the experience of being an atheist and then being someone deeply religious but in a somewhat unconventional way is that having unconventional or "strange" religious beliefs will kind of make traditionally religious people more mad at you than if you were a straight up atheist

tbh i always liked the old testament god more than the new testament one. old testament yāh was in his transistory phase where he still carried his bronze age polytheistic traits, a tradition where he was a war and weather deity. he got wrathful, and jealous, and cruel, and he had a short temper, and changed his mind, and learned, and overall was a wonderful and complex character. he was also more physical and bodily — although, as i understand, in biblical studies it's mostly assumed that the old testament god of J source is more physical and anthropomorphic, while the god of E source is more distant and ephemeral. okay, i think the start of this post was written kind of wrong. it wasn't the new testament or christianity that made yāh into a perfect and all-benevolent being, it was a very gradual transition that lasted hundreds of years, and it started long before jesus was even born. it's just that old vs new testament is really good at showcasing the contrast

i think i don't really vibe with most other fans of my favorite male characters is because they usually depict them too much of a man, and i am not interested in men, i am interested in The Character. and i am not saying that they should depict them as women, or nonbinary, or should depict them as feminine, no, not at all. but there's like, you know, you can depict a male character as The Character, and you can depict them as The Man. do you get me? like, i go to the fandom looking for art and fics, and it's just, regardless of his actual characterization, it's all just fantasizing about some kind of an abstract dominant patriarch, wearing my favorite character's face. it may be the most totally-wouldnt-have-normal-relationships (and sometimes even would-literally-abuse-you) kind of guy, and you join a dedicated space for his fans, and all they talk about is how they want to marry and start a tradcore 50s style nuclear family with him. it can be a guy who's arrogance and attempts of domination are explicitly shown to be a facade that hide the fact that he's actually kind of a massive pathetic wet loser, and you go to his fics, and they're all depicting him as a caricaturish daddy dom. at this point it's like, do you even like the character at all, or do you just like The Man, and project this man onto whatever character you find visually attractive? and these people kind of, really really poison actual discussion of the character, who is kind of a fucked up evil person (i only like *those* types, so im talking about them) because they see analysis of the actual character as an attack on their fantasized daddy dom husband, who is actually isn't The Character at all, and is simply a face of the day for The Man