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I hate to say it and I hate to know it but if you crave intimacy and deep relation you truly have to muster the courage to go first.

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

hey good luck today with whatever u got going on. u got this. and i hope something really nice happens to u today. u deserve it. 

Dahling you simply must explore the backrooms they're just brimming with all sorts of delightful little entities.

i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you

that poll going around of the guy who thought "people only eat tofu as a bit because they're deranged vegans" or whatever really crystalizes something that i have never been able to precisely say - which is "a nonzero fraction of people who start picky-eater discourse just happen to precisely hate those foods which are not from north america and refuse to introspect on this whatsoever"

In contrast some people say "there aren't any picky eaters in Asia 🙄" but this is laughably untrue. I have a cousin in India who refused until his 20s to eat anything in a sauce. as you can imagine in India this was difficult. he basically had to pick things out of curry and wipe them dry

we are so fucking back baby