daydreaming until my brain hurts

i wonder what they're gossiping about

I know this might make people mad, but absolutely refusing to even attempt to treat your mental illness, and instead just endlessly inflicting your unmitigated episodes on the people around you, is abusive. Your loved ones are not stress toys that you can just squeeze every time you feel bad. It is bad if someone says your repeated behavior is hurting them, and you take no steps to change. I know damn well that you can’t always help how your brain acts, but I’ve also spent a lot of years trying to stop my spiraling brain in its tracks, work on strategies to calm down, and consider the impact I’m having on others, because I grew up in a household with people who have the attitude of, “I have the right to consume all the attention in the house and drain your energy every single day because I feel miserable, and you’re the bad guy if you say that I’m making you feel bad and that I need to get help. I can treat you however I want because of my anxiety.”

I get in theory why people complain about het ships or whatever, I get wanting to watch queer media I really do, but I guess where y’all lose me is like. I saw some asshole on a post about Sinners complaining it was “hetslop”—this person was specifically doing so while also claiming Remmick was a queer character and thus they were justified in caring more about him than the Black protagonists. which is a whole other disgusting can of worms that has been well addressed by others at this point. but even in the absence of that part of the argument, like, no, i actually don’t think that a hunger for queer stories is an especially good excuse to deride and dismiss a piece of landmark Black filmmaking, especially as a non-Black person. I have a post that’s been going around encouraging folks to engage with more Native stories and characters, and I had someone come onto that post saying in the tags that they’d need these stories to be queer in order to care. and I just think that, you know, sucks! like obviously as a queer Native I also want to see more of those stories too. but idk how else to put it other than to say that Black people and people of color shouldn’t have to be like you in order for you to care about our narratives and experiences. and I think some of y’all are using this disdain for heterosexuality as a cover for your unexamined racial biases. it’s not okay to be racist to people just because those people happen to be straight, and you continue to be white before you are queer.

on an even more basic level than that, also, I simply just think some of y’all NEED to learn how to interact with media and storytelling without ships and fandom in mind. like if not being able to write fic about two men kissing is genuinely going to be a dealbreaker for you I think that’s actually something you need to work on within yourself because at that point I think you’re no longer really interacting with art and themes and narrative so much as just kind of playing with toys. which is, like, fine I guess. have fun. but it wouldn’t kill you to disengage from that from time to time. especially if would allow you to actually appreciate rich and deeply moving cultural stories from communities of color that you desperately need to learn how to see as human