too french to function

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

the new fantasy genre, popehunk, encompasses all books in which historical figures responsible for real atrocities are presented as sexy and potentially suffering from a cute lil' anxiety disorder

wild how putting on an outfit and going out with a friend will magically make everything better.....

cats be like damn we are cuddling 😳 what if I bit you for no reason

if everything is going to gradually become outrage marketing can we at least have some fun with it and do the movie remakes with all-women casts again

this summer delainey hayles and bailey bass play the narrator and tyler durden

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”

Having been Very Online in the mid 1990s is rough because half of your formative influences are like "yeah, this Flash video engages in pop culture deconstruction that's strikingly topical even thirty years later and did things to my vocabulary that persist to this day, and I can literally never recommend it to anyone because its core premise is a level of homophobic ordinarily observed only under laboratory conditions".

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...