a liar like all elves and men

when the fanartist draws ur ship growing old together but you lowkey envisioned them as dying tragically at 27 after a 5 year substance abuse spiral 😭😭😭

I'd like reading plays more if they didn't keep trying to get me to age regress

"Act 2" I couldn't read back then idiot!

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

“i love how we as a fandom have just agreed that–” don’t include me in this. do NOT lump me in with that.

it seems like in bdsm the "rewards" and the "punishments" look very similar. this concerns me a great deal, because it points to a system of misaligned incentives. if we're not careful, it's even possible that a rational actor could deliberately violate regulations, because the penalties for rule violations are in fact incentivized. one shudders to think of the consequences of such an arrangement

I'm touching the beast that's slouching towards Bethlehem right now and it's smooth as hell

My mom kept complaining that all of a sudden the Beatles are back and they're fucking everywhere and they're so obnoxious and were practically having an orgy in her garden under a cucumber leaf and that's when I realized she meant spotted cucumber beetles and not Paul McCartney