a liar like all elves and men

jake and logan paul will die by each other's hand outside the city walls of westlake ohio like eteocles and polynices outside the walls of thebes

Fanfiction is insane. You can write porn so good you make friends.

this sucks so bad I need to [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] force my son and my dead situationship’s daughter to get married so I can take over Thrushcross Grange

Despite it all I was born in the right generation. I love having more than 2 outfits to wear & not being pregnant.

give me your most controversial music opinion

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

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That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

coworker: it's good to see that centrifuge getting some use; most people don't like it because it's so sensitive me: *has been devising nobel prize-worthy balance configurations for every single load* haha yeah i guess i've just been lucky with it so far :)

the feelings i'm experiencing about this are akin to when a pet comes up to greet you and its owner is like "omg i never see them go up to strangers like that they're usually so shy"

developing a horse girl-like bond with the centrifuge

centrifuge: *shudders or makes noise* me: *patting its flank* shhhh... it's okay, girl...

I'm fairly certain the answer will be "because they don't want to spend money", but is there a reason your workplace doesn't just get a new centrifuge, maybe one with auto-balancing?

because the centrifuge works fine if you're pure of heart

Reblog to give a trans person a shockingly high resolution mango

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha