a liar like all elves and men

They should make hollow, fragile sugar candies exactly the size and shape of a lightbulb to safely satisfy the body’s natural need to eat lightbulbs whole

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

In American culture it is considered “bad luck” to leave the stove on when you’re not using it

jake and logan paul will die by each other's hand outside the city walls of westlake ohio like eteocles and polynices outside the walls of thebes

Fanfiction is insane. You can write porn so good you make friends.

this sucks so bad I need to [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] force my son and my dead situationship’s daughter to get married so I can take over Thrushcross Grange

Despite it all I was born in the right generation. I love having more than 2 outfits to wear & not being pregnant.

give me your most controversial music opinion

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

Can anyone explain wtf is going on here especially a Korean speaker

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That is one of the most astronomical fuck up translations I have ever seen.

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.