small town weeb

i cant wait to love the fuck out of somebody and not look stupid

40′s slapstick act where a clown creampies someone

Considering who I’ve dated in the past, I’ve been creampied by plenty of clowns already

Y'all better be going to bed at a reasonable time, don’t make me tuck you in and kiss you goodnight

don’t threaten me with a good time

Last warning before I sing you a lullaby, fucker

milennial culture is sending a horrible post to your friend who is sitting 10 feet away from you in the same room, and waiting 2 seconds before hearing a dismayed “….no!”

FISH ARE NOT MAMMALS! THEY DON’T HAVE BREASTS! WHAT THE FUCK!?

Fish Tiddies

today i learned fish can be dicks

i am laughing so hard that white fish is such a piece of shit and i love it

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

this is my favorite video on the internet

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet

me, holding my newborn child: what are its stats?