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@tobestarlost
the whole boston team knowing about montreal jane and they think that ilya rozanov who can pull any girl he wants must have found a real baddie the way he keeps coming back for more and then hard cut to shane hollander on a friday night drinking tea and reading the same hockey book for the fourth time who when ilya texts him asking what are you wearing? texts back my new organic cotton pj set and ilya texts back i'm so hard tell me more
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Ilya: Okay everybody listen the fuck up!
Raiders: 👀
Ilya: My Jane said she will send me glasses pic if we win tonight!
Raiders who have experienced this before: Fuck yeah brother 😫🙏
Ilya: So I am not loosing to New fucking Jersey and missing a picture of my pretty Jane in her glasses!
The whole team realising oh shit he means business: Yes captain! 🫡
Ilya trying to outplay his demons
this means more to me than it should
Blue says trans rights
lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls
OK bisexual (czech)
Hell yeah 🤙
Biczechual
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i’m wheezing at all the comments on this video. thousands of men thirsting over our baby goat
i do nawt play abt kataang
Trying to fix my values and threw a few Zukka in there 🫢
Gelphie Fanzine preorders open 💚🩷
Thank u @wickedshipzine for trusting me w the cover & I hope u all enjoy the 30+ artists & writers beautiful work inside :]
︵‿₊ link ₊‿︵
my shaylas <333
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Zuko
Mommy Katara
There exists a video somewhere of Shane Hollander standing in the parking garage of Censplex wearing a backwards snapback and althetic shorts with an inseam that is probably quite literally just listed as 'slut' on the tag as he stares down whoever is holding the camera. In his hands is a beautiful and perfectly spherical watermelon. In his eyes there is nothing.
"You want me to do what?" he asks.
"Crush it," says Harris, too loud and close to the camera.
"Like, with my hands?"
"The challenge is to do it with your thighs."
Shane, his face and his watermelon do not move.
"It's for charity."
Smash cut to Shane sitting on a parking block, face bright red as he reroutes every bit of strength in his entire body towards his thighs. He is utterly silent, straining, and he only makes a sound when the watermelon finally gives up and crumples under the onslaught.
The sound he makes is high, long and deeply inappropriate. It also echoes throughout the entire parking garage for what seems to be a preternaturally long time.
"What the fuck is--" Ilya, who heard that shit through an open window all the way in the team offices, careens out of the propped-open side door just in time to see his husband bite a hunk of watermelon from the dripping remnants. There is juice on his thighs.
"Hey," Shane says, and then squints at the camera, deadpan once again. "I nominate Ilya Rozanov for the watermelon crushing challenge. Or whatever."
Harris, luckily, has a second melon handy.
He’s so danmei
cens after a game: hey we're going for drinks! rozy you in?
roz: of course! lemme just slip into something more comfortable at home and i'll meet you guys there
*about an hour later*
roz: hey guys! i'm here! ik you missed me :)
bood: didn't you say you needed to slip into something more comfortable? you're wearing the same clothes as before?
roz: oh but i did, clothes nearest were just more convenient didn't want to be too late
team: ??
roz: 😏☺️😛
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My new favorite heated rivalry headcanon is Cliff having a bisexual awakening caused by Shane. Cliff is trying to be supportive of Ilya and is acting with Ilya like he would've during any other of Ilya's significant others, meaning toeing the line between douchey/gross and semi-respectful. So he's all ears when it comes to Ilya's sex life, teases Ilya about Shane, listens to Ilya talk about Shane's body, makes very crude jokes, etc. But along the way he starts to truly hear what Ilya says about Shane, what their sex life is like, and his body, and it clicks for him that he finds everything just as appealing as if it would be a woman. He suddenly sees Shane in a new light and realizes how hot he is, not I-can-admit-he's-a-good-looking-man hot, but I-would-sleep-with-him hot. He hears about whatever Shane and Ilya did during sex recently and he realizes most of it sounds enjoyable. He once sees a nude Shane sent Ilya and he gets so horny he actually feels guilty for thirsting over Ilya's man. So it dawns on him that he's in his early thirties and he just figured out he's bisexual. And by god, does he immediately get down to business.
Hear me out: what if Shane was the one who tried to get Ilya to do an open relationship in TLG?
Obviously Ilya tragically attempting to please his bf and keep him happy by telling him to fuck other people is already excellent whumpy goodness BUT
Imagine Shane’s deep insecurity born from knowing he was never enough for Ilya and desperation to compete with all the other women Ilya openly fucked and the shame of knowing he MUST have done something wrong for Ilya to have just ghosted him for so long after they hit it the first time culminating in Shane trying to pretend he’s okay with Ilya sleeping with other people.
Ilya finally realizing how deeply he fucked Shane up by conditioning him to accept that he would never be enough for Ilya. That all his little comments and digs and fuckboy games actually landed and Shane really didn’t understand or believe he’s enough for him. Even though they’re dating and in love. Even though Ilya assumed Shane must at this point know how mind numbingly absurdly ruined him for everyone else good Shane is.
Maybe instead of Shane actually pitching it to Ilya he just casually references the other women he assumes Ilya is still seeing, or makes some comment in bed begging Ilya to tell him he’s his favorite and then apologizes after because “sorry I know that’s needy it was the heat of the moment I know you love me I just get jealous sometimes”.
Just Shane casually assuming he’ll always have to share and never be enough for Ilya and Ilya horrified to realize just how resigned Shane is to assuming Ilya will never be satisfied with him the way Shane is with Ilya.
