toadaroe

one beer deep at the function like bring me the dog

one beer deep at the function like lemme post on tumblr

my newborn son has an ifunny birthmark

Hey man wanna grab lunch. We’re going to this tavern called Skullbreaker. All the ales are like 9 gold coins and they suck dick. Theres a bunch of foul sigils everywhere that say Be A Spiteful Cur and Me Gusta Beheadings. a racist gay couple from Cimmeria owns it. It used to be a bandit camp

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[pushing my glasses up with an air of unwarranted superiority and gesturing toward a painting without a minotaur] the Minotaur is implied.

if magic was real I'd get really into wizardry long enough to learn like 3 spells then move on and 4 years later id be like oh yeah I remember how to summon flame. probably. and then id do all the hand motions out of order and explode

the poses is what gets me every time