time-traveling farmhand

Did they let the fucking guy out

look at the republican calendar and see which animal/plant/item is associated with your birthday ok. if you're born january 14 you get the day of the cat

solidarity for everyone who was born on the day of the cistern or the watering can or something like that

Every time some fash posts about Real Art vs Duchamp's Fountain it's like lol that urinal has been kicking your ass for a hundred years

Marcel Duchamp kicked the bucket 55 slutty, slutty years ago and you can't get him out of your head. You're half as old as he is dead and you are worshiping at his altar, you are drinking his piss. He won.

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

pushing back against oldest child stereotypes by making unwise choices and not being dependable

ID: text reading "Siblings Quietly Relieved Oldest Brother Setting Bar So Low" /end ID

used to think it terribly silly (and kinda funny) when fantasy or sci-fi stories would have people refer to major recent historical events as The Flood or The Incident or The Revolution, and im sure historians fucking hate that because it's not helpful or descriptive, but we sure do be calling it The Pandemic

i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

this is the statistically reasonable post, reblogging it will have no effect except for putting this post on your blog

guys this post really works! I reblogged it and it really did put the post on my blog! you need to try it!

I think it’s normal for people to be mad at each other sometimes even if they’re close friends or family or intimate with each other. Like I think that’s a normal and healthy part of relationships that can happen sometimes

“Why were you on Mad At Me island” because at the time I was mad at you and yet our friendship has weathered that without trouble

I went to Mad At You island because my feelings are my problem. I needed to stomp down the beach until I could sit and watch the sunrise. I built a sandcastle and did some thinking. Then I boarded the good ship You Matter To Me and sailed it all the way to meet you on the Let’s Talk Shore of I Love You Island.

mutuals im clipping you into a keychain and hanging you from my belt loop

I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.