So Get This,

im only attracted to worthy opponents

ethan’s willingness to do ANYTHING for his friends is obviously very sweet and supposedly his achilles heel but it’s also just fucking hilarious how quickly he pivots from saving the world if someone he loves is at stake. evil guy kidnaps Benji and Ethan’s immediately like 🤷‍♂️ i guess we DO need to kidnap and drug the prime minister of Britain

“Remember Grace, it’s only pain” <- a piece of advice that can only be given by a guy who thinks that’s a reassuring thing to say to another human being because he views his own body as a piece of machinery

he's bisexual he's suicidal he's widowed he's divorced he's dead he's suicidal again he's desperately in love with everyone he believes himself unworthy of human connection he does everything for everyone and nothing for himself he's in love with his tech guy he's in love with his other tech guy he's sixty-two he's naked he's got the tightest ass you've ever seen he's getting pegged by his straight wife he's using his body as payment. AND he's bisexual AND. he's suicidal

you couldn’t replicate Ethan’s arc if you tried. traumatised 25 year old minor who wants to fuck his mentordad’s wife -> asshole slut -> domesticated wifeguy -> manic divorcee -> romantic comedy leading man -> atlas but he gets his ass beat in a nightclub bathroom -> atlas again but he sleeps in abandoned buildings -> the most grief stricken human being that’s ever lived

john woo and jj abrams wanted everyone to know that ethan fucks and christopher mcquarrie wanted everyone to know that ethan will never fuck again

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

[VD: A clip from Nirvana in Fire showing Mei Changsu casually pulling Xiao Jingyan’s sword from its sheath to point at a map. He freezes upon realizing what he’s done, and a guzheng cover of Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” starts playing while Xiao Jingyan stares at Mei Changsu hopefully and Meng Zhi looks awkward. End VD]

*doctor voice* we just got the test results back from your bloodwork and it’s weird. yeah. your blood is real freaking weird. what’s causing it? no clue. should you be worried about it? not really sure. anyway, just wanted to call and tell you your blood is all kinds of fucked up.

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

my moots' hyperfixations are my hyperfixations-in-law btw

one time I wrote a sw fic set during the OT which referenced a poster of anakin skywalker and someone in the comments described it as a wanted poster, and to this day it remains one of the funniest ideas i've ever encountered. the thought of the EMPIRE issuing wanted posters for Anakin Skywalker, whether that be Palpatine ironically to torture Vader or just the general imperial machine at work to eliminate all Jedi, all while Vader is watching the hullabaloo like🧍‍♂️

Being obsessed w Star Wars and specifically the RotS novelization is crazy because like to me it’s a Greek tragedy. It’s a Shakespeare play. It’s about generational trauma. The main character is a viscerally portrayed victim of grooming. It’s about the love that couldn’t save anyone and the love that saved everyone. And then you close the book and remember jazz is called jizz