I'm a depressed bean.

Dude I just got a nat 1 and got vaporized by a beholder :c

in real life?

Yeah can someone come down to the TJ Maxx parking lot and cast True Resurrection lol? I’ll trade you some Subway coupons

eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer

Fork

Oh yeah I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin

spoon

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

GAH

i think we shoukd have glowstick juice injected in our bones when we’re born so if we break em theres a fun little surprise

whats the surprise

blood poisoning

me @ myself: ok bitch time to get over it