Just A Place To Vent

Not even vaguely the only transandrophobe or exorsexist to say it. Fuckers are salty I explore femininity and masculinity freely now.

You go to game nights. You're presumed either a woman or a transfem egg. You get tired of correcting people. They make a fuss after.

The queer community and society at large hate you. It's a fact that sticks in your brain and marinates.

You look to see yourself in fiction. Trans men and mascs don't exist in fiction, even queer written fiction. Implicitly, you realise it's because people don't want you to exist anywhere.

Every day tumblr users get closer and closer to saying you can only be trans in a god honouring way.

These screenshots are literally just white supremacist, right wing talking points about conformity to the status quo being more "transgressive" than people who actually transgress social norms. It's quite literally no different than Christians, MAGA, the right wing, etc. thinking they're the ones who are actually oppressed despite engaging with ideas, values, and presentations that have actually been the ruling class status quo for centuries. It's all taken from the same self victimization playbook.

"This issue affect transfems ONLY! Nobody else can relate! Nobody understands how it feels to be trans in this transphobic society! Everyone who is not transfem are all privileged cunt bi-"

You can't call it transmisogyny, because you're not transfem.

You can't call it transmisandry, because misandry isn't real.

You can't call it transandrophobia/transandromisia, because you're not oppressed for being a man (alternatively: because Saint coined the term).

You can't call yourself a tranny, because that's used against transfems.

You can't call yourself a femboy, because that's used against transfems.

You can't call yourself a faggot, because that's used against transfems.

You can't describe your relationship as t4t, because that's for transfems."

Silencing transmasc people and talking over them, not acknowledging their experiences and pretending that their oppression does not exist, is bigotry. And it causes harm.

Like you have the standards for masculinity as high for cisgender men as you do for transmascs.

Like you would tell a cisgender man he "isn't even trying" if he puts on a dress or wears makeup in the way you would a transmasc.

Like you would take away your respect for a cisgender man's gender identity so quickly as soon as you don't like them in the way you would a transmasc.

Like you would tell a cisgender boy nearing puberty that he's going to get fat and bald and hairy and ugly like you would tell a transmasc getting testosterone soon.

Like you would ask a cisgender man if it's his "man hormones" making him upset in the way that you'd ask a transmasc if he's angrier because he's taking testosterone. (Which is just rebranded "are you on your period? You're moody" fyi)

It's almost like you see our gender identity as men inherently invalid or something we need to jump through hoops in order to prove.

You don't treat us as equal. You treat us as equal if we continuously prove we're equal, if we go above and beyond, if we put on a show for you, if we deny our own oppression while still allowing you to oppress us. That's not equality. Because the standards we hit will never be high enough for you.

This shows us something fundamental about how the people who use tma/tme think. In particular, that the only meaningful way to discuss your own oppression, and in particular transmisogyny, is in terms of comparing oppression.

It is a hard mindset to break from and very easy to fall into. It's also an astoundingly prejudice way of thinking. It is one of the major roots of all exclusionist movements within the queer community. When I compare tma/tme to gold star lesbian, I mean that very genuinely. I don't think everyone who uses it is a bad person, but they are getting caught up in something that will end very poorly and be remembered as this incredibly toxic and prejudice thing that grew out of this need to directly compare your oppression to others - or in reality, the wildly inaccurate assumptions you make about how others are oppressed.

And it all seems so reasonable at the start. I get that. I really do. Just like it seemed so reasonable and obvious that lesbians are more oppressed than bi woman, and bi women would never really understand.

I don't think most of the early rad fems were bad people. I think they were trying to come to terms with and explain the problems they were seeing and experiencing and many of them inadvertently fell into prejudice ways of thinking. They tried out ideas and rather than dismiss them when they proved a problem they became attached, dug in.

The same thing is happening now. I don't think the people using tma/tme now are bad people. But they have adopted prejudice patterns of thought, have become attached, and are digging in.

Do you really think that the lesbians of the past who built up radical feminism were not oppressed and excluded? Do you really think they were not the subject of hate and violence?

The reality is that a critical component of the creation of radical feminism and all the damage it has done since is that lesbians were oppressed and excluded and violently so.

Basic feminism doesn't account for the men who have uteruses. A large part of women's oppression is about their uteri and how it supposedly makes them inferior to men.

No that doesn't mean women who don't have uteruses aren't oppressed by misogyny (having a uterus as a women is a damned if you do damned if you don't situation) but reproductive rights have always been a large part of feminism.

That's why we don't need basic feminism, we need intersectional feminism that takes into account men who have uteruses and women who don't and acknowledges the material conditions of both groups.

It's been said before and I'll say it again