Holy shitsnacks

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

ready when you are

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

I stan

Well I guess I haven’t even been here for a full year yet, so…

Take a Tylenol.

He believes in you.

Padme: ok boomer

no clue what to do with these bois so ill leave em here

“My husband got involved with a younger woman at work.  I was relaxed about it at first.  He’s thirteen years younger than me, so I thought: ‘Shit happens.’  But then she got pregnant.  Luckily through the divorce process I had the opportunity to take over this shithole place with no heating, which I’ve turned into an art studio. And now I’m living my best life.  Everything is for sale except the pink chandelier and the dog.  Anyone is free to stop by at anytime.  You can eat or drink whatever you want.  All the young people in the neighborhood love me.  I’m the oldest person in our friend group.  Everyone else is in their twenties or thirties.  They call me Queen Mama.  I call them my adopted kids.  I always help them with their school projects and resumes and interviews.  I only ask one thing in return.  Each of them has to teach me one new thing every week: a piece of music, a trend, an idea.  Just so I can stay up to date.  Before you take the photograph, let me go inside and put on some make-up.  We were out until 2 AM last night.” (Amsterdam, The Netherlands)

That I will be stopping by later to pet him 

ig: claricetheillustrator

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.

My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.

My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap

My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*

my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance… you’re my padawan now

I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.

So like, thanks dudes.

https://iglovequotes.net/

Oh mood