boy you're just a stupid bitch + girl you're just a no-good dick

*has a healthy and fulfilling relationship with a terrifying 9ft tall demon who loves me very much*

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

ok well if i can be vulnerable with you for a moment theres a hole in the floor at work and i dont know if it drains to anywhere but i do know ive been pouring old coffee down it for about three weeks now

a coworker saw me do it today and her expression was unreadable

the other day all my coworkers were talking about the various wack diets they're on and I went "nahhhh I'm on the Seafood Diet" and the lady next to me goes "oh, what's that?" and i was so shocked by actually getting a chance to deliver the punchline on that ancient gag that i barely even remembered to say it

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

laughing at a joke about the "refusal of the call" but shaking my head the entire time so the audience knows i don't approve of the monomyth as an effective structure for literary analysis