Lets Go Down In Style

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then

“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

Settlers of catan

walking around the dashboard at four in the morning stepping on all the creaking posts loud as fuck

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

i miss everyone

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

normalize flopping. it’s ok to fail baby. sexy even

the amount of people saying "i thought you meant flopping on the ground". target audience

normalize flopping. it's ok to flail baby. sexy even

Grocery prices these days...

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it

Also babies can’t even fight, how would they fare in battle against my inner demons?

sand tiger sharks

on it, boss lady

A HAMMERHEAD????

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

not to give green day credit but it is immensely funny how often Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation will be like hi green day play my event. and green day is like ok Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation but you know we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians and we are going to play our song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians .and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like ok green day thats cool. and then green day plays their song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and Big Corporation For Guys Men Guys Guy Corporation is like wtf green day you cant do that you cant play your song we suck dick and penis and want to kill politicians. and this has been happening in a cycle for 30 years.

me when I tell the guy who sings "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me" not to do that