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Being queer saved my life. Often we see queerness as deprivation. But when I look at my life, I saw that queerness demanded an alternative innovation from me. I had to make alternative routes; it made me curious; it made me ask, "Is this enough for me?"
The poem by Tom Hirons, read by the author. Now available, in higher quality, as an mp3 at https://shop.hedgespoken.org/products/sometimes-a-wild-god-sound-recording-mp3 Recorded…
Sometimes a Wild God
Sometimes a wild god comes to the table.
He is awkward and does not know the ways
Of porcelain, of fork and mustard and silver.
His voice makes vinegar from wine.
When the wild god arrives at the door,
You will probably fear him.
He reminds you of something dark
That you might have dreamt,
Or the secret you do not wish to be shared.
He will not ring the doorbell;
Instead he scrapes with his fingers
Leaving blood on the paintwork,
Though primroses grow
In circles round his feet.
You do not want to let him in.
You are very busy.
It is late, or early, and besides…
You cannot look at him straight
Because he makes you want to cry.
The dog barks.
The wild god smiles,
Holds out his hand.
The dog licks his wounds
And leads him inside.
The wild god stands in your kitchen.
Ivy is taking over your sideboard;
Mistletoe has moved into the lampshades
And wrens have begun to sing
An old song in the mouth of your kettle.
‘I haven’t much,’ you say
And give him the worst of your food.
He sits at the table, bleeding.
He coughs up foxes.
There are otters in his eyes.
When your wife calls down,
You close the door and
Tell her it’s fine.
You will not let her see
The strange guest at your table.
The wild god asks for whiskey
And you pour a glass for him,
Then a glass for yourself.
Three snakes are beginning to nest
In your voicebox. You cough.
Oh, limitless space.
Oh, eternal mystery.
Oh, endless cycles of death and birth.
Oh, miracle of life.
Oh, the wondrous dance of it all.
You cough again,
Expectorate the snakes and
Water down the whiskey,
Wondering how you got so old
And where your passion went.
The wild god reaches into a bag
Made of moles and nightingale-skin.
He pulls out a two-reeded pipe,
Raises an eyebrow
And all the birds begin to sing.
The fox leaps into your eyes.
Otters rush from the darkness.
The snakes pour through your body.
Your dog howls and upstairs
Your wife both exults and weeps at once.
The wild god dances with your dog.
You dance with the sparrows.
A white stag pulls up a stool
And bellows hymns to enchantments.
A pelican leaps from chair to chair.
In the distance, warriors pour from their tombs.
Ancient gold grows like grass in the fields.
Everyone dreams the words to long-forgotten songs.
The hills echo and the grey stones ring
With laughter and madness and pain.
In the middle of the dance,
The house takes off from the ground.
Clouds climb through the windows;
Lightning pounds its fists on the table.
The moon leans in through the window.
The wild god points to your side.
You are bleeding heavily.
You have been bleeding for a long time,
Possibly since you were born.
There is a bear in the wound.
‘Why did you leave me to die?’
Asks the wild god and you say:
‘I was busy surviving.
The shops were all closed;
I didn’t know how. I’m sorry.’
Listen to them:
The fox in your neck and
The snakes in your arms and
The wren and the sparrow and the deer…
The great un-nameable beasts
In your liver and your kidneys and your heart…
There is a symphony of howling.
A cacophony of dissent.
The wild god nods his head and
You wake on the floor holding a knife,
A bottle and a handful of black fur.
Your dog is asleep on the table.
Your wife is stirring, far above.
Your cheeks are wet with tears;
Your mouth aches from laughter or shouting.
A black bear is sitting by the fire.
Sometimes a wild god comes to the table.
He is awkward and does not know the ways
Of porcelain, of fork and mustard and silver.
His voice makes vinegar from wine
And brings the dead to life.
“When Daphne transforms into a bay tree, the moment is one of both horror and deliverance. She is no longer what she once was, but the metamorphosis frees her from the unwanted attention of Apollo. This duality of horror and emancipation sits, I think, at the core of female transformation. Within the horror genre (and arguably everywhere else), bodies read as female are always subject to pain, and to the threat of violation. Becoming something else—a tree, a freak, a monster—preempts this pain and reduces the risk of harm. It may even, if the transformation is the right one, allow you to cause harm in return.”
— “On Body Horror and the Female Body” by Julia Armfield
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Title: Litany
Author: @thistle-verse
Recipient: @alpha-exodus
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, minor Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger
Rating: Mature
Word Count: ~7,200
Warnings/Content: Ghosts, Pandemic, Quarantine, Isolation, Grimmauld Place, chess, touch starved, Drinking, Draco Malfoy in Azkaban, guilt, lists
Summary: With the wizarding world on lockdown due to a magic-draining pandemic, Harry is stuck in Grimmauld Place, bored and alone—until the ghost of Draco Malfoy shows up to haunt him.
Author’s Notes: I’m really sorry to bring the pandemic into fandom, but also couldn’t help myself. So many thanks to G for the beta work, and for being such a comforting, lovely human in general.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
I wrote a thing for @hd-erised again this year, and here it is. Endless and heartfelt thanks to all the really lovely people who left kind comments and recs, and to the best of betas and humans— @gracerene09!!
““One of my teachers at Columbia was Joseph Brodsky, who’s a Russian poet, wonderful, amazing poet, who was exiled from the Soviet Union for being a poet. And he said look, you Americans, you are so naïve. You think evil is going to come into your houses wearing big black boots. It doesn’t come like that. Look at the language. It begins in the language.”
@onpyre asked if I knew any books about monster theory, and I decided to share my list with everyone. I haven’t read all of these, so please let me know if any of them is absolute crap.
The Monster Theory Reader, ed. Jeffrey Andrew Weinstock (great introduction to a lot of different texts and ways of approaching this kind of study, so big rec!)
Ten Theses on Monsters and Monstrosity, Allen S. Weiss + this lecture
The Ashgate Research Companion to Monsters and the Monstrous, ed. Asa Simon Mittman and Peter Dendle (particularly the introduction)
Monsters, John Michael Greer
Monsters: Evil Beings, Mythical Beasts, and All Manner of Imaginary Terrors, David D. Gilmore
Horror and the Holy: Wisdom-Teachings of the Monster Tale, Kirk J. Schneider
On Monsters: An Unnatural History of Our Worst Fears, Stephen T. Asma
Other related resources:
A Philosophical Enquiry into the Origins of our Ideas of the Sublime and the Beautiful, Edmund Burke (here)
The Uncanny, Sigmund Freud (here)
Abnormal, Michel Foucault (here)
Powers of Horror: Essays on Abjection, Julia Kristeva
The Monstrous-Feminine, Barbara Creed
Holy Monsters, Sacred Grotesques: Monstrosity and Religion in Europe and the United States, ed. Michael E. Heyes
The Monster Show. A Cultural History of Horror, David J. Skal
Strangers, Gods and Monsters: Interpreting Otherness, Richard Kearney
Our Vampires, Ourselves, Nina Auerbach
Of Giants: Sex, Monsters, And The Middle Ages, Jeffrey Jerome Cohen
Frankenstein and the Language of Monstrosity, Fred Botting (here)
I second most of these, especially Jeffrey Jerome Cohen, the Ashgate Research Companion, and Kristeva. I want to quickly add these (I’m on my phone in the dark, sorry):
Somatechnics volume 8, issue 2 (should be open access on Edinburgh university press) - this is a special monsters issue
Izaola, Amaia and Imanol Zubero. 2015. “La Cuestión Del Otro: Forasteros, Extranjeros, Extraños y Monstruos [Otherness: Outsiders, Foreigners, Strangers and Monsters].” Revista De Sociologia 100 (1): 105-129. (Spanish - I read it with google translate, heh)
McCormack, Donna. 2015. “Hopeful Monsters: A Queer Hope of Evolutionary Difference.” Somatechnics 5 (2): 154-173.
Wisker, Gina. “Gothic and Young Adult Literature: Werewolves, Vampires, Monsters, Rebellion, Broken Hearts and True Romance” in The Edinburgh Companion to Gothic and the Arts. 2018
Do also check out the monster network! It’s a recently founded research network and should come up on google
“Fiction is a kind of compassion-generating machine that saves us from sloth. Is life kind or cruel? Yes, Literature answers. Are people good or bad? You bet, says Literature. But unlike other systems of knowing, Literature declines to eradicate one truth in favor of another; rather, it teaches us to abide with the fact that, in their own way, all things are true, and helps us, in the face of this terrifying knowledge, continually push ourselves in the direction of Open the Hell Up.”
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Title: Trick or Treat
Artist: Anonymous
Recipient: @thistle-verse
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/ Draco Malfoy
Rating: General
Art Medium: Watercolor painting
Warnings/Content: Halloween, domestic bliss, fluff, potioneer!Draco, affection, established relationships, holidays together, banter, living together
Summary: It’s their fist Halloween together and Harry absolutely have to steal his boyfriend away from his cauldron (even if, yes, it does rather add to the atmosphere). Draco minds very much (no, he does not).
Artist’s Notes: This is a gift for thistle_verse and I hope you’ll like it! I admit I probably had too much inspiration from this year’s Halloween. Well… Everyone loves Halloween, right? Especially in Harry’s case it’s important to fill it with happy memories.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Title: Every Kingdom
Author: @thistle-verse
Recipient: @wolflstar
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: ~7,000
Warnings: None
Content/Enticements: Medieval AU, reluctant princes, pining, UST
Summary: Every kingdom needs a prince. Every prince needs a good and useful knight. Draco and Harry play their parts and renegotiate some borders while they’re at it.
Author’s Notes: As ever, the best part of writing an Erised fic is getting G as a beta. So many thanks, G! Happy Holidays, wolflstar! I hope this fic is to your liking.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Time for my annual @hd-erised fic claim. It was lovely to pinch hit for them again (bc I adore @gracerene09, @dictacontrion, and @firethesound, and bc this fest is always so great). Also, it is once again the only fanfic I wrote this year, which is kind of a downer, but that’s one of the ways grad school ruins your life, I suppose.
Many thanks to @gracerene09 for her always stellar beta work.
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“Be present. Make love. Make tea. Avoid small talk. Embrace conversation. Buy a plant, water it. Make your bed. Make someone else’s bed. Have a smart mouth, and quick wit. Run. Make art. Create. Swim in the ocean. Swim in the rain. Take chances. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Learn. Know your worth. Love fiercely. Forgive quickly. Let go of what doesn’t make you happy. Grow.”
— Paulo Coelho (via awelltraveledwoman)
Scheherazade Shirking @thistle-verse - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
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