Hi, I'm Tom.

idk perhaps this is too early 2000s internet safety module of me but the amount of information you guys demand from each other is weird

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

the irredeemable pervert is generally well regarded among their friends for their insightful thoughts and all around pleasant demeanour

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

This nonsense is exactly what I wanted to happen

person trying to get out of a timeloop but they keep getting brutally murdered by the other person stuck in the timeloop, who is having the most amazing vacation of their life and refuses to leave

they're very apologetic about the whole "murdering you in cold blood" thing but they have never in their adult life had this much free time

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

Big!!! Steppy!!!

Taking her job very seriously

Ragebaiting my fat dog? More like master baiting my fat hog!!!!!!!!

@hellsite-hall-of-fame @worldheritagepostorganization

is this the ORIGINAL?!???

oh holy shit i didn’t even know where this meme came from

OH MY ACTUAL GOD THE ORIGINAL

ORIGINALS ON THE ROLL