reblogging into the void

Platonic love is love, too

Self love is love, too

Familial love (whether found or born) is love, too

Love of your culture and community is love, too

"Love is love", by definition, should not be exclusive. There are so many types and forms and intensities of love, each as beautiful and important as the next, and love is something every human being should have the chance to experience. It looks different for each person, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

I know that's probably not how the phrase was intended to be interpreted, but I don't care. Love is love, and I hope you all get to experience it, whether it means going on a date, connecting with family, making a friend, or learning to love yourself. All of that deserves to be celebrated because all forms of love are equal.

They're called alove or loveless and they do not feel like the emotions they feel can be described as "love". Most prefer other terms like affection or care.

You also have aplatonic people who don't feel platonic love, afamilial people who don't feel familial love, anattractional people and people who are not ready to love themselves yet, etc etc.].

Happy Pride month to the Black Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Black Caribbean Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Black African Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Afro Latino Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Black American Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Louisiana Afro-Creole Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Gullah Geechee Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Tidewater Creole Asexuals

Happy Pride Month to the Afro Indigenous Asexuals

I want to start by celebrating and thanking the ace activists who have been a light in the dark to me when it comes to acephobia. This sticker was created out of necessity to keep working towards our visibility, but not out of the belief that there is no one to look up to or no one resisting. People like Yasmin Benoit, Amber Witsenburg and Delta B. McKenzie make themselves heard about what life is like for aces without sugarcoating, while also leaving room to hope for a more just world, and we are so proud of them. 

My aceness has been seen as something to be corrected all my life, from discussions of disordered roots of my identity between parents and youth psychologists to repeated sexual abuse and harassment within what is described to me, with hope but also with idealism, as the queer “community.” What’s been on my mind the most recently, though, is the acceptance of many aces around me towards the view of aceness as a disorder, disease, symptom or defect, to be diagnosed, corrected or compensated for. This sticker is my way of showing that I’m still here, still resisting, every day. Yours might be to start a conversation next time you witness acephobic or arophobic behaviour, challenge stereotypical views of ace or aro identity or the abusive hierarchies oppressing ace and aro people, or to assert your right to come out - or to exist without doing so. Whatever the fight may look like for you, thank you for fighting it, and, as always, thanks for being here.

This featured sticker, along with others from my aro + ace and Believe Children series, is available from my small, GenAI-free sticker business, Vandalpark, although it’s only one way to start conversations and share support. https://vandalpark.bigcartel.com/product/aro-ace-series-sticker 

If you have any questions or comments, please reach out through my contact form: https://vandalpark.bigcartel.com/contact 

no you don't

you don't have to love marginalized people you just have to respect them and treat them like real living beings

love ain't got shit to do with it

like can we as a society please find a new word that's not the vaguest catch all meaningless word in existence to use for things like that

I believe her goal was to cause more aspec infighting, but I can't be 100% certain. Really horrific stuff she said. Anyway, asexuality is a spectrum, aromanticism is a spectrum, aplatonicism is a spectrum, afamiliality is a spectrum, etc. Fuck exclusionists, fuck terfs, all that good stuff.

Just because I don't consider someone my "friend" doesn't mean that I don't like that person, or I don't enjoy their company.

There are lots of people I like, and enjoy the company of, who I do not consider my "friends".

"Friend" is a relationship.

A friend is someone who you

make an effort to spend time with on a continuing basis

make an effort to know on a personal and emotional level

would want to continue spending time with them even if you didn't have a current shared interest/hobby

would go at least somewhat out of your way to assist when having difficulty. Would lend $5 to. Would stay up late and listen to them cry.

It is okay and normal to have people that you like and spend time with who are not your "friends". "

Friendship" comes with duties and expectations. It is a relationship.

Happy pride! If you’re looking for aspec stories, I could recommend you my RPG Maker games.

-Friendship Test: A long story-focused game that explores different aspec identities (aromanticism, aplatonicism, lovelessness…). Lots of aspecs have seen themselves on this game, maybe you’re next. Jokes aside, it’s a passion project that means a lot to me and it’s completely free for you to enjoy!

-Exe tries to save the holidays: A short follow-up to Friendship Test! While the main focus is not on aspec themes, we do have an aspec protagonist whose identity is important for her character. The game only costs 1,30$!

-Estranged Family: A spin-off to Friendship Test which is currently on development, but there is a 2 hour long demo available! I continue to explore more aspec themes here, maybe you’ll like this one too!

-Obsolete Friends: A short semi-horror game, unrelated to the Friendship Test series. Aspec themes are not the main focus, but there are aspec characters that are important to the story. It’s my newest game and it costs 2$!

irl, i live alone. irl, i am disabled. irl, that intersection and my lack of interest in partnering actively makes life really hard. everything is expensive. i can't always cook when i want to or have fresh ingredients, because my symptoms don't care if I want to cut up vegetables and eat something homemade before they go bad. if I have a bad flareup and getting up is not in the cards, that's it. i have what's next to me. the lack of social support for single folks, for disabled folks, for folks whose family care is inadequate or damaging... it's impactful.

I talk about how i once visited a place with an ex partner. i mention how our relationship started because i was pressured into it, and i wasn't really into the level of seriousness and 'forever' she treated it with. everyone says it's weird that i agreed if i didn't want it to be serious. i remember being 16, saying no, and a chorus of people telling me i was stupid and immature, that her family was rich, that we would be cute and to listen to them, not my heart. my heart was saying nothing.

i look at my current age and life goals. for many of my peers, dating and marriage and eventual kids are common goals. i am watching my rights erode and trying to practice good mental hygeine. my five year goal is to be alive. my next major life milestone is a nebulous desire to find a life i can tolerate living.

being aromantic significantly impacts my day to day. i want to see aro people living their lives, and doing so with joy. i want to see aro adults making it, ones like me. i want aro people to thrive. i want to live, aromantically.

a genuine suggestion: if you have anyone close to you (friends, family, mentors, therapists), it is kinda... amazing to practice consent with them. the workshop I first did this in used the example of one person asking to touch some body part on the other individual. the second person responds "no". the first person responds "I respect your no. Thank you for telling me no" or similar. Crucially, you also swap.