Ilya and Shane are both people that other people ascribe attributes to constantly. They are told what they are like by everyone around them. Both of them, to some extent, conform to those expectations.
I think the love story starts in the ways they don't try to define each other. They're curious about each other. Shane's million and one questions, Ilya's prodding (which are also kind of questions, his constant provocation a way to say 'show yourself to me').
Ilya laughs when Shane comes out to him because of course he knows that Shane is gay, but he never told Shane that. He never ascribed that word to him. When Ilya tries to ascribe someone else's word to himself (I'm lazy), Shane corrects him immediately.
They scrape the labels off each other that other people have stuck there.
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Ok, what if when two soulmates happen to be in front of a mirror at the same time they can see each other? It starts almost immediately so Shane at three or four is sitting on his parents' bed watching his mother get ready and instead of himself he sees another little boy with a halo of curls. They stare at each other. Shane, confused, waves. His wrong reflection does not wave with him. The other boy tilts his head and blinks in confusion. His mother doesn't notice. After a beat, the other boy pulls a face at him and sticks out his tongue. Purely on instinct, Shane sticks his tongue back out at him. They both laugh and then the other little boy freezes and runs off. Shane's reflection returns.
"What's funny, baby?" his mother asks.
"Nothing." Shane says because he has no idea what that was.
It takes awhile for happenstance to strike again, and even then it's only glimpses for awhile. Then at ten, they move and Shane has his own bathroom with a big mirror. Sometimes when he's getting ready for school in the morning, brushing his teeth, the other boy is there instead, but he's dressed like he's going to bed. By now, Shane has heard about soulmates, he wonders if the other boy has too. So Shane mouths 'hi'. The other boy frowns and mouths back something else entirely. When Shane shakes his head, the boy wrinkles his nose. It takes a few tries before Shane painstakingly writes a message out backwards and show it to the mirror 'My name is Shane. I speak English. You?'
The other boy stares at the words, frowns and then runs off. Shane waits and even though he winds up almost missing the bus it's worth it because the other boy holds up a sign with weird lettering, but he's patient enough to hold it until Shane can take a picture with his Polaroid. It takes weeks of looking in the library (Shane doesn't ask his teachers much of anything usually and anyway, he doesn't ever know what to do with himself during library time, so it gives him a project). He determines the other boy is using Cyrillic. This explains less than he'd like. The school library doesn't have any books about Cyrillic. Defeated, he finally caves and tells his parents "I see a boy in the mirror, he uses this alphabet, can I get a book?" His mother hugs him very hard. Soulmates, he learns, are rare and precious. He also learns that maybe his parents were worried about him in ways that don't entirely make sense, but okay. Fine. Glad we squared that away. Can I have a dictionary now?
If it had been two years later, he might not have asked. He would have been too afraid of what it might mean to have a male soulmate. Lucky they moved. Lucky that they brush their teeth and the same time.
Shaky-handed characters and pantomime get them to 'Ilya' and 'Shane'. A lucky glimpse in a locker room bathroom gets them to 'hockey'. They start to use clocks to make sure they don't miss each other. When Ilya misses one of their schedule times, Shane can barely think about anything else all day. He knows they won't have a chance again until tomorrow, but when he goes to pee before dinner, he finds Ilya in the mirror, his eyes red-rimmed. For the first time, Ilya seems way too far away. Shane put his hand to the mirror and when Ilya put his hand up too and it's shaking, Shane wants desperately to be closer. That's how his mom finds him on top of the vanity which is not doing well with the weight of a preadolescent hockey player with his whole torso pressed to the glass. She doesn't make him get down. Maybe because he's crying too without any idea what they're both sobbing about. He won't for years.
It goes and goes. Shane interrupts Ilya getting ready to go out, finds him styling his hair. Shane mimics him with a smile and Ilya wrinkles his nose at him. Ilya watches Shane floss in bafflement, but takes up the habit too, seemingly so he can make fun of the faces Shane makes. When they happen to catch each other in hockey gear, they use their fingers to signal goals and assists. Shane keeps track in a little book that holds a lot of things. No one else can see Ilya, anymore than any one can see Shane on Ilya's side, but they learn to be careful in public restrooms, coming up with a clear subtle signal for 'not home' since they can't see the others location. They watch each other grow up. They learn how to write in each other's languages and backwards at that.
And finally, finally, comes the sentence that makes Shane's heart skip a beat. In Ilya's pretty handwriting (good even in his second language and backwards which makes Shane unbearably jealous and proud):
I will see you soon.
They meet at four sitting on their mother's beds across the world from each other. They meet at twelve, sharing a pain that doesn't need words to be clear. They meet at fourteen, Shane fresh out of the shower and Ilya shirtless, things wakening in Shane that he thought he would never understand. They meet at sixteen, hands pressed to the place on Shane's mirror that is always marred with fingerprints.
They meet at seventeen. Shane sees him across the parking lot and tries to stay cool, walking instead of running. He watches Ilya try to light his cigarette and gets there before flame touches it.
"You're not kissing me for the first time tasting like cigarette smoke, asshole."
"This is not romantic," Ilya protested. "This is not first time I hear your voice."
"I love you," Shane said irritably, "do not light that thing or I'll throw up."
Ilya's breath caught. "You do not know me. You do not love me yet."
"I do," Shane said stubbornly. Then he stuck out his hand, "I'm Shane Hollander."
With a smirk, Ilya took his hand. "Ilya Rozanov."
Shane didn't let his hand go. He held firm and Ilya didn't try to pull away.
"There, now we know each other. I love you. Kiss me."
"Shane. I have to go back. It is no good there if we..."
"I know. Mom read me a bunch of articles," Shane said with a shrug. "But there's no one else out here. Kiss here. Everything else later. Okay?"
"Okay," Ilya said.
They kissed in that terrible parking lot and Shane never wanted it to end. He pulled away with a soft sigh.
"Wow."
"Wow," Ilya repeated teasingly. "You will say this when we beat you too."
"Not happening," Shane laughed. He was still holding Ilya's hand, a circuit completed.
When Shane got back in the car, his mother asks, "How did it go?"
Shane has a number in his pocket and a promise for a mirror meeting tonight once Ilya's roommate goes to sleep that makes his ears burn.
"He's kind of an asshole," Shane said, delighted.
"Okay," his mother laughed. "I can't wait to meet him."
And it's not that it's easy. Ilya goes to Boston and Shane goes to Montreal. They will have years before they see each other more in person than through reflections. But when Ilya gets ready for game 7 of the Cup, he does it with Shane smoldering with lusty jealousy from twelve inches away. And when it's Shane's turn, Ilya wears his jersey alone in the privacy of his house so Shane can see it before he heads off to victory.
Even years later, when they're married and more often before a mirror together than trying to communicate through them, sometimes they do it anyway. If Shane is washing his hands, ready to go back out to a photoshoot, he'll look up to find Ilya flirting with him or holding up Anya to make her wave at him.
There is always a handprint on their mirrors.
Sometimes they are apart, but they are rarely alone.
shane + a big, punched-out "yes" when ilya's cock pushes into him after shane's waited ALL DAY for it. shane + a far breathier and more overwhelmed "oh god, yes" when ilya's hips come flush with his ass, aaaaall the way in, finally finally.
Hayden is invited to one of Bood's barbeques some time down the line. It's a nice evening and the Centaurs are good people. But Hayden can't shake this weird feeling of unfamiliarity all night. And at first he chalks it up to him being at a Bood barbeque the first time, hanging out with a team that isn't his. And so he always ends up looking for Shane in the crowd because that's his best friend, that's his familiar person. Except the feeling doesn't go away as he watches Shane throughout the evening.
Shane is playing with the curls at Ilya's neck. He's laughing at a joke from Luca. He rolls his eyes at a chirp from Ilya who in turn presses an exaggerated kiss to his cheek. He's playing mario kart with Wyatt and Young at some point, all of them yelling and swearing loudly. He's holding Ilya's hand in both of his. He's talking to Harris about going back to the restaurant they went to the other day, you guys want to join us? He's hooking his ankle over Ilya's. He's beaming at Harris as he takes a picture of the couple. He's grinning at something Ilya whispers to him in Russia.
After dinner, Hayden's standing on the patio with a beer in his hand watching as Shane and Ilya chase each other around Bood's yard, a spectacle that is accompanied by loud cheers from the rookies that are watching them. At one point Shane full on tackles Ilya and they end up on the grass laughing and wrestling. Wyatt whoops and shouts "Hollzy Rozy wrestling championship back the fuck on!" joining the rookies, half of them chanting "Rozy" while the other is chanting "Hollzy".
And suddenly the weird feeling takes on a painful shape. Because it's not the team or the house that's causing this deep sense of unfamiliarity. It's seeing Shane, happy and carefree with his boyfriend and his friends in a way that Hayden has never really seen before.
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i can have fun discussing threesomes and gangbangs occasionally but aside from some voyeurism ultimately in my heart of hearts #myilya is killing himself before sharing and #myshane is killing both of them before sharing
Harris gets the idea to do a video asking the team popular questions they get from comments. Bood explains his tattoos, Lucca assures everyone that he is actually 21 (his most popular question is 'who is letting that baby boy play hockey?'), Troy has to defend salmon as a snack again, Wyatt's question is why Marvel? And harris has to cut the video and just put in a screen that says 'answer cut for time'.
Anyway Harris finds Ilya in the gym doing pull-ups or something and Shane is in the background on a treadmill. Harris goes to Ilya "So your most popular question is, Can Ilya Rozanov fight?"
Ilya drops down to the floor and crosses his arms (slightly swollen and sweaty from the pull ups) and mostly fake scowls at the camera, "I see this question all the time because people are very tempted by my very hot husband." He wags a finger at the camera, "But he is mine you cannot take him. I can fight very well." He smirks at the camera now.
Then Shane pops up behind him, having stopped his run, "I can also fight." And Harris is like, "oh no one asked you that Shane."
And Shane shrugs, "No I know, but if they're asking Ilya because they're going to fight him to like, steal me or whatever, they should know I would also fight to stay."
And he also smirks at the camera and Ilya looks at him with such a gooey lovestruck look that it immediately becomes a meme.
Ilya reblogs the meme with a gif of Shane demolishing one of those punching bag games ala Hudson.
shane comes home early and beelines straight into the living room, where ilya is lounging on the couch, watching something on tv. before he even knows it, shane’s there, dropping to his knees in front of ilya.
“shane?” ilya barely manages to ask, but he’s cut off by his own moan when shane unceremoniously pulls down his sweats and gets his mouth on ilya’s dick.
it’s the fastest blowjob in both of their lives — ilya comes pretty quickly, mostly because shane just goes ham on it, sucking his husband off like he knows it’s his last day on earth. ilya is still a bit dazed when shane pulls away, lips slick and glistening, and climbs into ilya’s lap. ilya’s hands loosely rest on shane’s hips, barely latched, since his soul was literally just sucked straight out through his dick. but shane is still trying to grind down on him, his swollen lips kneading and biting up and down ilya’s throat.
“shane, lyubov moya,” ilya tries, gently prying shane’s face away from his neck. “i love this, i love the energy, but can you please say what the fuck is going on?”
shane frowns when he gets pulled away, but ilya can see that his eyes are filled with something close to… fear?
“i read something,” shane whispers, like it’s a horrible secret. “on the internet. they said… ilya, i need you to promise me it’s not true.”
“i don’t even know what,” ilya says, smiling a bit in an attempt to soothe his husband. “if they said you have sexiest husband, sorry, cannot deny.”
“no, ilya.” shane groans, his thighs squeezing tighter around ilya’s hips. “they said… jesus fuck. they said you’d be happy to retire and become my wag.”
ilya’s eyes grow twice as wide, eyebrows shooting up. “what? what kind of idiot said that?”
“i don’t know, just… people.” shane waves a hand around. “they said that you’d be happy to retire right now, stay at home to raise our children — which we don’t even have, by the way — and…” shane gulps. “…and cheer for me at my games.”
ilya can’t help a startled laugh at the image that immediately appears in his mind. it’s absurd, to say the least. he shakes his head.
“not happening,” he says, rubbing slow, firm circles into shane’s hips that he’s still trying to grind into ilya’s lap. “how can i leave you alone on ice, hollander? you will regress to rookie, and mlh will become beer league.”
shane pushes at his chest. he’s not smiling at this as ilya hoped he would be. “exactly. i can’t do this without you, ilya. i’m serious. fuck children. fuck retirement. none of this wag bullshit, okay?”
ilya grins up at him. “wouldn’t dream of it. shane, the only way i’m leaving ice before you is dead.”
“i’ll find one of those sketchy witches and resurrect you then,” shane says, and his lips, still shiny with spit from the blowjob, stretch in a smile at last.
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Reading Troy’s inner monologue in Role Model feels like reading the inner thoughts of a feral cat who is trying to be domesticated. He doesn’t know how to socialize, he has to remind himself not to be an asshole, he prefers to be on his own, and he fucking loves salmon.
