I'm Not Dead Yet

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

#lost in a fugue of penis delerium

reblog to spread your dick mania to everywhere you go

cocksoplasmosis

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

FRIENDS IN AMERICA: DO NOT SIGN UP FOR ANY LGBTQIA+ STUDIES OR SURVEYS. chances are they’re fake/being monitored and your real/legal name will be recorded

New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep

Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep

I Am So Fucking Tired

Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.

Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.

I hate it when people ask me what genre of music i listen to because i genuinely have no clue. It's called Music I Like genre. The best genre out there

reblog to explode a landlord

babe are you okay you reblogged got that fog in me 11 times

wait, i did? i don't remember doing that...

How does this man not think he's FINEEEEE WTAH

"Sorry I have a boyfriend" is of course a time-tested and reasonably reliable no-fault rejection strategy. But what many tacticians may not realize is it has an even more powerful counterpart, the preemptive boyfriend name-drop. This is when a conversation with a stranger veers into high-alert territory and you make up a guy named Raphael (my boyfriend) who you mention due to his extremely-relevant interest in the current topic of conversation.

Raphael is a powerful tactical piece here due to his simultaneous love or hatred of every single topic ever, due to he's not real.