Stimlord

-i use FireAlpaca to draw, and the brushes i use are pen, pencil, chopstick pen, dp-fade round and dp-flat (blend),, they are all free and either come with the program itself or can be found in the brush store;

-i don't do commissions;

-in general i don't take drawing requests;

-don't repost my art elsewhere;

Do you too sometimes dream of romance?

Not wishing to actually have a relationship, just expirince the closeness it provides?

I sometimes think i might just pretend to be aroace when i like, read romance books or something, because i want to be close to someone

But then i think, and i imagine myself in a relationship - be it romantic or physical - and i think this is not something i would ever want to partake in

But it still leaves me feeling lonely, empty even

So, does this happen to you, too?

oh you just explained a lot of my experience actually hahaha. but yeah, i very much do find myself dreaming about romance. but like you said, i dream more of that feeling of closeness it provides, rather than romance specifically. in my head it's often a very vague, very close and personal bond i have with a blurry-faced someone(s), but most notably without the aspects that you'd usually label as reserved for romantic or sexual relationships. however when outside of those fantasies i still find myself unattracted to the idea of being in a relationship, even when presented with opportunities to be in one. not just to the idea of being in a relationship, there's just nothing that i feel you know (duh).

i think because i was just generally a very lonely person for a good portion of my lived life with barely any close relationships to other people, the presented idea that there is someone out there who i will undoubtedly meet and settle down with and be so very close with, sounds very comforting. so i definitely run into my doubts of "wow maybe i'm not aroace maybe i'm just really lonely". when romantic relationships are drilled into your mind to be the only type of truly meaningful relationship you can have, you just simply find yourself thinking about it. how it feels. but now that i know that is very much not the case, i dream of it less and when i do, i do it differently. it made me realize that it's definitely that human closeness that i want rather than the sexual or romantic aspects.

omgggg.... Crying sobbing and weeping... I love your pebble 🥹🥹🥹🥹 it's so baby,,,,,,,,