A Rendezvous

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle

sometimes you just gotta go "man i actually don't give a shit" and keep scrolling. online survival skill 101

what if orpheus looked back at eurydice and then orpheus got fucking decked to the ground because they were playing a hockey game and you have to look where you’re going

ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

how much of ur online presence is performative and how much is it u being u

baby every me is me, we are the mask and the wearer

Instead of going to work tomorrow why don’t we all just dig a really deep hole

The thing they don’t tell you about executive dysfunction and poor time management is that you will feel guilty every second of every day for your entire life.

and then other people will come in and decide clearly you're not feeling guilty enough if nothing's gotten done so they make you feel guiltier