Artificial Unicorn

NO FUCKING WAY

im self reblogging this because i went back and listened to the whole track and somehow this slaps harder than anything ive heard in the last week

Calling characters with an unknown last name the name of the thing they're from (like sans undertale) is very funny but I think its funnier when people do it with a character whose last name is very much known

Jesus Bible

all my organs are continuously exploding 24/7. every day when i get home i love nothing more than to pull all my eyelashes out as quickly as possible

thats so cool and hardcore i love it. all my organs are gently humming in perfect harmony and every day when i get home i grow another eyelash <3

one day we shall meet. and upon this occasion i shall put my hand to yours. and when this happens our bodies will annihilate one another perfectly. and release energy equivalent to that of a medium sized nuclear explosion. scorching and burning all that is dear to the world in our vicinity.

and it will be perfectly silent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💖💗🥰💘💞💝💓💕🌟✨

for real. #girl

#girl

"That sounds like a good idea......."-"Is there something bothering you with the idea?"-"No, the idea is GOOD.....🙂"

Can someone explain this to me?

The linguistic difference across generations is beautifully explained here thank you

I was shocked and appalled when I learned that jesters were actually well regarded and rich in a monarchy. I thought they were my allies 😡

#-ppl becoming disillusioned with celebrities behavior in covid lockdown

In the modern age "official fools" are also known as "twitter verifieds"

a symbiotic relationship

Toss a coin to your fisher, o valley of plenty.

today’s the day

it really is next to impossible to write realistic sibling dialogue, I just passed my brother on the stairs and instead of greeting each other like human beings I said ‘born survivor’ and he said ‘youtube rewind. let’s set it to rewind.’ like you ain’t gonna find that shit in a novel

exactly! I have three younger brothers and the original post was just about the oldest, the middle one and me usually do some kind of elaborate dab also, and a lot of the time when I see the youngest I just yell his name like a wrestling commentator…siblings have a different language

are trans boys allowed to participate in thotumn?

Abso-goddamn-lutely

“Women these days are so immodest hrr grr” have u considered men just arent slutty enough? Show some titty bitchboy

I'm upset how much this has me laughing. I spent 20 minutes trying to decide on a photo to post and punked out 😂😂

Punked out? Come back here and finish the assignment!

I want to show this to my partner but he’s going to be like “Ya well, he’s got a six pack.” If anyone out there needs encouragement to show their slutty chubby bodies, please let this be it.

You are cute. Anyone who says otherwise will befall a fate involving snakes and vinegar in their toes

bro she’ll text u back she’s just slow blinking with her cat