Who are you and what are you doing here??

for my cereal

The forklift's lesser known relative: the spoonlift.

The knifelift, for those whose minds have gone to that natural pattern-completing conclusion, is Stabby the Space Roomba

@ominous-signs

Official ominous sign

I ship it

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

A demon has cursed you with the inability to have children or form a family, and as soon as you learn of this you went to tell the witch who you promised your firstborn child, as this clearly will prevent you from fulfilling your side of the deal.

The witch just nods and calls her lawyer Fae. Even demons need to learn to not infringe on deals.

Coming up next on "UNSEELIE COURT"...

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas

there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much