I am obscene to you, but to myself, I simply am.

unclean = adj. of or pertaining to uncles

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

Am walking through Manhattan, there's a woman who can't be more than 25 in a big fur coat, walking with a cane, angrily saying into her headpiece "I want them them destroyed," I feel like an extra in a movie

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

To all my international friends, yes the leader of the UK's biggest far right party is going to have to defend his seat as a member of parliament against a man with a bin on his head, this is not a bit, this is a real and genuine thing happening in UK politics

Joke candidates long standing tradition in UK and they're usually just there to satirise party leaders. They're people with no real skin in the game beyond that of an average citizen, so they can say whatever they like about politicians without worrying about attracting votes. The Monster raving Loony Party is probably the most well established of these, but Count Binface has been standing in all major elections since 2019. It's unusual for a joke candidate to be having such a direct impact on politics, usually they fulfil a similar role to the satirical press by asking difficult questions and highlight some of the absurdities of modern politics

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

a character who isn't used to being cared for or treated kindly being gently and tenderly cared for for the first time in years or maybe ever. save me

kind of a milf. reblog