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ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL
one normal day in british politics that’s all i ask for . will never happen
this is a normal day in british politics
ocean sounds for those of you who need it
thanks i made a little painting about it
ACTUALLY, MAD RESPECT HE WAS A MACHINE.
[ID: screenshot of an article that reads:
DNA analyses taken in 2003 are claimed to have revealed traces of blood from at least four other people on his gear: one from his knife, two from a single arrowhead in his quiver, and a fourth from his coat.
Interpretations of these findings are that Ötzi killed two people with the same arrow and was able to retrieve it on both occasions, and the blood on his coat was from a wounded comrade he may have carried over his back. Ötzi's posture in death (frozen body, face down, left arm bent across the chest) could support a hypothesis that, before death occurred and rigor mortis set in, the Iceman was turned onto his belly in the effort to remove the arrow shaft. The Cambridge World
a screenshot of a comment by @/headstomp:
original strong as fuck ice mummy
end ID]

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[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
an important thing to know about Count Binface is that he was previously Lord Buckethead, pictured here with Theresa May in 2017.
Lord Buckethead previously ran against Margaret Thatcher in 1987 and against John Major in 1992. Lord Buckethead ran for the Gremloids party.
Officially all Lord Bucketheads are the same Lord Buckethead who went away for a while and returned; however, it has come to light that Lord Buckethead (1987, 1992) and Lord Buckethead (2017) were two different guys under the bucket.
Following the 2017 general election the original creator of Lord Buckethead (not either of the guys who had worn the costume) asserted his legal rights over the character and 2017 Lord Buckethead acquiesced. and so, Count Binface came into being.
In the 2019 general election Lord Buckethead and Count Binface both ran against Boris Johnson, Binface as an indepent and Buckethead having joined the Monster Raving Looney Party. (NB this Lord Buckethead was a third different guy, not 87/92 Buckethead)
Lord Buckethead won the race (ie, got marginally more votes than Count Binface) but has not stood in an election since whereas Count Binface has been very prolific, running in two mayoral elections, two by-elections, and one further general election in 2024:
Another interesting note:
The fancily dressed candidate next to Buckethead in 1992 is Screaming Lord Sutch, founder and then leader of the Monster Raving Loony party.
The candidate w the ventriloquist dummy in the 2024 image is Monster Raving Loony member Sir Archibald Stanton.
So. There you go!
the trolley problem except the guy tied to one set of tracks is your friend and someone you trust and one of the few people in the world that you genuinely like and he's begging for his life and he's saying that you're murdering him and he's screaming and clawing and running like a wild animal. on the other set of tracks is every living thing on the planet. its a no brainer, obviously. but he will still scream. this happened to my good friend eva stratt

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reblog to form a mighty faggot with your mutuals
I also felt this part was hilarious and should be included
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
Experts* have determined that if elected, in theory he would have to remove the bin in order to participate in parliamentary votes.
*a bunch of randos on discord
Fwiw this is reportedly the precedent set in the 80s:
it's like she's some kind of cursed homonculus that stole his eyes
T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"
getting kicked off love island for just swimming in the pool and not talking to anyone

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can you imagine being a parent in the pokemon world and your kid comes home with one of those straight up basically human pokemon. i know those motherfuckers can talk.
its morning. i see my childs Throh getting some oj from the fridge. 'morning', i say. he doesnt catch himself in time and says 'morning' back. he freezes and we both stare at each other knowingly. 'throh,' he says, but its too fucking late
it's like she's some kind of cursed homonculus that stole his eyes