Grade A MILF

I gifted my friend one of those night sky aurora borealis projectors yesterday and I’ve been treated to hourly text pictures of his reclusive cat enjoying the ever loving crap out of it. Best purchase ever.

Howwww. How can you cavalierly no-show me when I could be home getting chewed on by my wide awake 10 week old bb greyhound??

My therapist let me last minute re-schedule my appointment without a fee when I told her I was in line to adopt a rescue greyhound puppy and it was taking longer than expected.

I love sharing my real life problems with clients because they give the absolute worst advice. It’s like a reminder that no matter how tough things are now I could always make them worse.

Jesus H. Christ. It’s new therapist season for this bitch, and every bright eyed, wet-behind-the-ears little 2021 LMHCA is charging $125-$200 per hour for ~Telehealth~ appointments.

Just had dinner and drinks with my shroom dealer in a local gay bar. Apparently he thought I stopped buying from him because I accidentally saw his dick pics when I was looking through pictures of his grandson on his phone. Doing drugs is really nothing like what D.A.R.E suggested it would be like.

I’ve been thinking about getting a custom embroidered sun hat that says “Eat The Rich” ever since I misread an embroidered sun hat at the mall years ago.

Having proper punk friends is great because you always know where they stand on racism/sexism/transphobia.

“Yes hello? Customer service? Yes hi, I bought the ball trimmer and I still see the damned ads every three posts…is it a glitch or some kind of outage?”

I’m worried my dog’s mom might have died because I follow her owner on IG and she never posts pictures of her anymore, just the dad. 😭