there's a scrungus among us

Fuck, we’re surrounded.. take the pirate pill. I know I said I packed us cyanide pills but the pirate pills are way better they’re gonna turn us into swashbuckling pirates & that’s how we’re gonna get outta this one

only like my posts if you want to be part of my pirate crew

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

Do y'all have any favorite card games?

I know this is the jaded post-irony website and we all wanna be funny, but I am genuinely asking. Please, tell me about a good memory you have with some loved ones and a stack of standard playing cards.

it was international jazz day and all you guys listened to was a single album??

not even close to joking when i say that everyone going "meeeee :3" in the notes needs to ask themselves why they're so much more willing to listen to jazz that isn't made by black artists

if music was a girl id fuck it

Unoriginal sin. Derivative sin

I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.

!!!!!!

This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.

tilejob from a girl with huge mahjongs