Gin and Miskatonic

marty the typa guy to accidentally moan rust’s name while having sex with a woman who isnt his wife

I think if you showed baru cormorant excel spreadsheets she would feel wonder at its arithmetic capabilities and profound pleasure at her command of such a quick witted tool but after a few hours sunk into playing with it the cold fist of dread that this was a masquerade tool - provided her to poison her figures? - would close in her chest and she’d queasily redo all the sums by hand just to double check and finding nothing would wonder if it wasn’t an exercise to steadily sow her faith in the technology and make her complacent in its whisperings so that one errant sum arced from the heart of the empire like an arrow could unravel the intestines of her lifelong work and she would come to the troubled conclusion that she could never trust their solutions meanwhile the apparitor is like you aren’t using Microsoft excel? and baru is like (lie) I found its results finicky, I trust my own hand better & apparitor’s like really now? You had trouble with it? Odd… And their brow furrows and the white hot knife of triumph like a darting fish flashes through baru’s mind like I’ve caught them guilty now! meanwhile exceedingly hot women are begging to have sex with her and she’s like don’t bother me right now I need to think on how to outsmart Microsoft excel

people who express seething, violent hatred towards cyclists: you make people feel unsafe as fuck! you're allowed to be annoyed with cyclists. some of us are dicks who need to learn the road rules. but anytime I see someone "joke" about hitting cyclists with their car I feel a little bit sick to my stomach.

feels like as soon as my feet are on the pedals of my only reliable mode of transport, I become a target for people driving a terrifyingly fast and heavy car. when I was barely a toddler, my dad had to go on rallies to raise awareness about the fact that people on bikes are PEOPLE who do not deserve to be KILLED BY DRIVERS.

he had slogans trying to remind people that he was a dad with a 2 year old son at home, because both him and his friends have had drivers swerve at them any time they got on their bicycles. I just find how "normal" it is to want to kill cyclists pretty fucking scary.

"it's just a joke" yep! but jokes are rooted in ideas that you are reinforcing. you can laugh about how annoying cyclists are without sounding like you want us to get life ending injuries for inconveniencing you.

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

STOP saying the otherworldly powers are corrupting my mind godddddd. You literally wish you were us. I mean us. I mean me.

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

The closer to the modern era you get the more fascinating "lost at sea" becomes as a backstory element. Being lost at sea in 1612 is a downright normal kind of lost to be. Being lost at sea in 2012 is like, okay, back up – I need to hear this one.

i’m so glad that iwtv is brave enough to show real queer joy in these times— nobody dies of aids, no queerbaiting, just happy, escapist media about gay people in incestuous relationships with their transmasc mothers, gay people beating up and murdering each other, and the queer joy of finally allowing yourself to be a drug addled rock star haunted by your past

Rediscovering drugs, gay sex and being a sugar baby in your 70’s

fixed a problem at work that i vaguely saw a manager fix once and i did it faster which means that i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin i get to take his skin