onyx&#x27;s yap space

#it might be a slavic queer thing #and if its not well mind your business. dont enlighten me. i prefer to live in the depths of my ignorance #let me stay in the cave i scream as they drag me out of it #also THAT LAST TAG KILLED ME OP ARE YOU IN MY BRAIN #hollanov #shilya #ilya rozanov #shane hollander #heated rivalry

ilya rozanov in a true slavic gay fashion:

There has to be a way to dress gothy and masc in a way that's also comfy. Like "clothes that could also double as pyjamas" level of comfy wear.

gromqueer

sweatpants?

Do you have tips on how to style sweatpants in a dressy, goth way?

vinylcatlocket

pick a pair of pants at the thrift store that you think are nice looking and comfy. then pair it with a t-shirt from the menswear section. make sure it calls to you. personalise it if you feel like changing anything about it. you have to dress like who you are authentically.

if your most authentic self is goth, and the way you sourced the clothes is more faithful to goth values, then it's going to be a super comfy goth outfit.

remember, goth is not a look, so much as it is a lifestyle. you have to have the values and practices and the aesthetic will follow

The problem is the first sentence: there is no known overlap between "looks good" and "comfy".

caffeinatedpunk

I have a few ideas but depends on how much effort you want to put on it. Diy is not only a punk feature, goths have always diy'd their clothes. I am more punk than goth but the two are not that far! They are like alt cousins :)

Quickest and easiest way to make a pair of sweatpants look goth is to bleach them. You could either dilute it and spray it on the pants or put a bit of bleach in a container, take a brush and just splash it on the pants. Leave them outside in the sun for a bit and wash them (do not put them with other clothes just to be sure you are not ruining anything). I'll say one hour and you have your personal pair of goth sweatpants.

Another thing you could do is to put holes in them. Take a pair of scissor, cut a small hole and then bush a razor on it to give it a more ripped look.

If you have more time, a bit of money and you want to try something more complicated, you can sew patches, paint them, add some metal eyelets (idk if that's how they are called in english. The metal things in the shoe where you put your laces in), chains, etc.

As for the top, band shirts!! Black shirts!! Black tank tops!! Halloween themed stuff!! You can also find them already goth enough or add patches, pins, laces, etc etc. Same goes for sweatshirts! Be creative! And also accessories!! Spike bracelets, necklaces, etc can change the look and make it more goth even if you are just wearing a pajamas.

Definitely look at old goths looks. They can be the source of great inspiration for diys. You do not need any fancy or expensive equipment or that much experience to make cool things. And remember that all of these subcultures are about breaking societal norms and expectations. So honestly going around in your pjs sounds very goth!!!

I think people misunderstood what I meant with the sweatpants: I do not want to be seen in public in sweatpants. I would rather just go with no pants at all than have to wear those in public, but unfortunately that attracts unwanted attention.

When I said "I don't want to look like I'm wearing sweatpants", I did not mean "if only there was a way for me to wear sweatpants", I meant "I do not want to be a person who wears sweatpants in public".

If I said "I hate lemons so much that I'd rather eat human shit than touch a lemon", that does not mean that I am looking for suggestions on how to safely consume feces. This is not directed at you personally, I always get misunderstood in ways like this and I don't know how to make it stop happening every time I open my mouth.

nurmilintunen

You could try being more specific from the beginning. People are not gonna be able to guess that "clothes that could also double as pyjamas" and "gothy and masc" also mean that you absolutely do not want to be seen wearing sweatpants in public, since you also asked for further tips to make sweatpants look less casual. They will assume you want something comfortable and casual (because you said pyjamas) and since you were curious about how to style sweatpants in a goth, dressy way they're going to go down that road. You did say dressy, but that one word will not communicate that sweatpants are off the list.

You said there's no way to make something comfy and look good, but people don't innately know "what looking good" to you means, and it can't be sweatpants at all and you would not want to even be seen in public in them. If you want to find tips to feel comfortable in dressy clothing you have to say that from the beginning as well.

It's like you're setting invisible tripwires for people by assuming there's more meaning to your words than you're actually communicating with them. Of course people are gonna trip.

And showing more appreciation when people take their time to give you advice, even if they misunderstand would be good. Now you're just rewarding them with a slap on the face by always emphasizing how little they understood you - that can make people feel dumb and embarassed for trying to help at all.

I definitely fucked the dog with the way I put myself in words again. I regret doing that and will unfortunately do it again, because if I knew how to stop doing that, I would. I should have been more clear at the start about trying to find something that FEELS COMFORTABLE but simultaneously DOES NOT LOOK CASUAL. No streetwear, no sportswear, no underwear, no camping gear. I had not really clarified the requirements to myself before posting.

It's much less intentionally setting tripwires and more like forgetting to tell people that there's no floor in the kitchen. And neither side understands why we're not in the same room anymore.

sounds like it might be an america-raised vs europe-raised thing? as an eastern european i instantly knew what op meant and maybe its just that "looking good" here is not something youd do by wearing sweatpants?

If you walk up to someone here who's wearing sweatpants and say "I like your outfit!" you're going to get a nose-breaking headbutt, because that can only be taken as sarcasm, and interpreted as you saying "I notice that you're in a bad place in your life right now, and I want you to know that it shows! :)"

#sorry if that reads as pretentious or sth

LITERALLY

also idk why its not showing, at least to me, but the rest of the post was abt high vs low context cultures and goes like this: @homunculus-argument if im not mistaken, you are finnish, correct? i think it even mightve been you who posted about it, so forgive me if you already know this, but finnish culture, including language use, is a high-context one, meaning people use millions of other context clues besides words to convey meaning as well as to understand when someone else is communicating.

there are thousands of much more lower-context cultures in the world, but US american one, which still largely shapes today's internet culture, is very low-context. they use relatively little means of communicating besides words. i picked up on the sarcasm when you said "do you have tips on how to style sweatpants in a dressy, goth way?" instantly, but we do be forgetting a lot of people, be it for cultural or other reasons, wont.

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mamawasatesttube

the thing about media literacy is that understanding why the author chose to specify that the curtains are blue is the same skill set as understanding that the way the author characterizes all black characters as angry or all chinese characters as meek and silent is racist. it is the same skill set as being able to identify when a news source is biased or when someone is feeding you propaganda. the ability to ask "why did this person choose to present this premise in this specific way?" is a critical skill in a world full of misinformation. why are the curtains blue? maybe it's a characterization detail. maybe it's extraneous worldbuilding. why is this character written as being right all the time? maybe you're intended to disagree with them. maybe it doesn't matter. maybe you should still ask why.

There has to be a way to dress gothy and masc in a way that's also comfy. Like "clothes that could also double as pyjamas" level of comfy wear.

gromqueer

sweatpants?

Do you have tips on how to style sweatpants in a dressy, goth way?

vinylcatlocket

pick a pair of pants at the thrift store that you think are nice looking and comfy. then pair it with a t-shirt from the menswear section. make sure it calls to you. personalise it if you feel like changing anything about it. you have to dress like who you are authentically.

if your most authentic self is goth, and the way you sourced the clothes is more faithful to goth values, then it's going to be a super comfy goth outfit.

remember, goth is not a look, so much as it is a lifestyle. you have to have the values and practices and the aesthetic will follow

The problem is the first sentence: there is no known overlap between "looks good" and "comfy".

caffeinatedpunk

I have a few ideas but depends on how much effort you want to put on it. Diy is not only a punk feature, goths have always diy'd their clothes. I am more punk than goth but the two are not that far! They are like alt cousins :)

Quickest and easiest way to make a pair of sweatpants look goth is to bleach them. You could either dilute it and spray it on the pants or put a bit of bleach in a container, take a brush and just splash it on the pants. Leave them outside in the sun for a bit and wash them (do not put them with other clothes just to be sure you are not ruining anything). I'll say one hour and you have your personal pair of goth sweatpants.

Another thing you could do is to put holes in them. Take a pair of scissor, cut a small hole and then bush a razor on it to give it a more ripped look.

If you have more time, a bit of money and you want to try something more complicated, you can sew patches, paint them, add some metal eyelets (idk if that's how they are called in english. The metal things in the shoe where you put your laces in), chains, etc.

As for the top, band shirts!! Black shirts!! Black tank tops!! Halloween themed stuff!! You can also find them already goth enough or add patches, pins, laces, etc etc. Same goes for sweatshirts! Be creative! And also accessories!! Spike bracelets, necklaces, etc can change the look and make it more goth even if you are just wearing a pajamas.

Definitely look at old goths looks. They can be the source of great inspiration for diys. You do not need any fancy or expensive equipment or that much experience to make cool things. And remember that all of these subcultures are about breaking societal norms and expectations. So honestly going around in your pjs sounds very goth!!!

I think people misunderstood what I meant with the sweatpants: I do not want to be seen in public in sweatpants. I would rather just go with no pants at all than have to wear those in public, but unfortunately that attracts unwanted attention.

When I said "I don't want to look like I'm wearing sweatpants", I did not mean "if only there was a way for me to wear sweatpants", I meant "I do not want to be a person who wears sweatpants in public".

If I said "I hate lemons so much that I'd rather eat human shit than touch a lemon", that does not mean that I am looking for suggestions on how to safely consume feces. This is not directed at you personally, I always get misunderstood in ways like this and I don't know how to make it stop happening every time I open my mouth.

nurmilintunen

You could try being more specific from the beginning. People are not gonna be able to guess that "clothes that could also double as pyjamas" and "gothy and masc" also mean that you absolutely do not want to be seen wearing sweatpants in public, since you also asked for further tips to make sweatpants look less casual. They will assume you want something comfortable and casual (because you said pyjamas) and since you were curious about how to style sweatpants in a goth, dressy way they're going to go down that road. You did say dressy, but that one word will not communicate that sweatpants are off the list.

You said there's no way to make something comfy and look good, but people don't innately know "what looking good" to you means, and it can't be sweatpants at all and you would not want to even be seen in public in them. If you want to find tips to feel comfortable in dressy clothing you have to say that from the beginning as well.

It's like you're setting invisible tripwires for people by assuming there's more meaning to your words than you're actually communicating with them. Of course people are gonna trip.

And showing more appreciation when people take their time to give you advice, even if they misunderstand would be good. Now you're just rewarding them with a slap on the face by always emphasizing how little they understood you - that can make people feel dumb and embarassed for trying to help at all.

I definitely fucked the dog with the way I put myself in words again. I regret doing that and will unfortunately do it again, because if I knew how to stop doing that, I would. I should have been more clear at the start about trying to find something that FEELS COMFORTABLE but simultaneously DOES NOT LOOK CASUAL. No streetwear, no sportswear, no underwear, no camping gear. I had not really clarified the requirements to myself before posting.

It's much less intentionally setting tripwires and more like forgetting to tell people that there's no floor in the kitchen. And neither side understands why we're not in the same room anymore.

#like ive never heard someone describe an outfit which included sweatpants as “good looking” in this country #also real masc alt and in over 21 celcius/70 fahrenheit is a hard to pull combo #onyx yaps

sounds like it might be an america-raised vs europe-raised thing? as an eastern european i instantly knew what op meant and maybe its just that "looking good" here is not something youd do by wearing sweatpants?

also, @homunculus-argument if im not mistaken, you are finnish, correct? i think it even mightve been you who posted about it, so forgive me if you already know this, but finnish culture, including language use, is a high-context one, meaning people use millions of other context clues besides words to convey meaning as well as to understand when someone else is communicating.

there are thousands of much more lower-context cultures in the world, but US american one, which still largely shapes today's internet culture, is very low-context. they use relatively little means of communicating besides words. i picked up on the sarcasm when you said "do you have tips on how to style sweatpants in a dressy, goth way?" instantly, but we do be forgetting a lot of people, be it for cultural or other reasons, wont.

forcearama

The lexical divergences didn't make the mutual intelligibility any service.

Polish: I'm looking for kids at the shop.

Czech: I'm fucking kids in the basement

I ugly-laugh/cackled in a short burst when I saw this.

A) because language is INSANE; B) because OH MY GOD how unfortunate;

and C) that you knew my language nerd self would appreciate this (truly awful) situation.

To be honest? The more I learn about Slavic Languages the more I am convinced that at least HALF the strife in the region is because someone misinterpreted what someone else was saying. Or if something was a QUESTION VERSUS A STATEMENT, YOU BEAUTIFUL CHAOS MANIACS.

mist-the-wannabe-linguist

wintersmitth

In Ukrainian this'd mean "Looking for kids in a burial vault".

nothing i love more than my beautiful language

depressedcryptographer

Asking for touch as an aspec is so weird like “hey, please touch me, but not in a sex/romance way, just in a human contact way. Interact with my body’s touchscreens. Punch me in the face or something. Please. I’ll take anything at this point.”

Edit: of course everyone here has blanket permission to tag this as Blorbo from their Shows. We love seeing representation, implicit or explicit.

im somwhere on the ace and aro spectrums but the touch counts if its sexual too. just. please. i crave anything longer than a goodbye hug

#double demi struggles #touch starved #acespec #arospec #probably demi and demi?#which is weird because im the opposite of repulsed aroace stereotypes #i am hungry for intimacy #both mental and physical #i meed a fwb where we spend the first three months on the f part

that also makes me very sceptic when i feel like i might be falling in love. am i really obsessing over them, or am i starved of human contact and intimacy and theyre my friend who i feel comfortable with?

mephistopheles

um so quick question you do know that the world isn’t divided into People Blindly Accepting Of Gender Roles and Smart Trans Ppl. the world isn’t divided into People In Romantic Relationships and Single Aros. the world isn’t divided into People Who Socialize Easily and Oppressed Autistics. the world isn’t divided into Enlightened Queer People and Stupid Misogynists. like you are aware of this ? i hope you are aware of this

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narutwitter

#and then ill unload all of my important life events and personality changes from last five months #do you think its too much if i tell her that i feel like i need testo or ill die?#its also the third breakup shell be working through with me #gods i hope she wont be dissapointed in me #which is a crazy thing to think abt your therapist but knowing that doesnt make it feel much better yk #sorry girl its not that i dont believe you its that i fundamentally dont believe the way i see and understand reality #maybe thats what i should tell her too #onyx rants #in the tags

my uni classes end this week and thats how ill be walking into my therapists office after our five months break (my classes and her working hours clashed)

fluffydancer618

Good morning, what the fuck was I cooking in here

no, no, you're not wrong, im just curious why its specifically during a one night stand

#onyx yaps

"mtf" and "amab" voted worst acronyms of all time

we don't need "leftist" ways of calling trans women male actually

you can say trans woman. you can just say trans woman

people will criticize tme/tma calling it "the new gender binary" and then go around calling people amab and afab as if they just ran a find and replace in their vocabulary for "male" and "female"