The National Spamton

!!CHAPTER 5 SPOILERS!!

Based on this interaction people have noticed with the mannequin:

"bomb that kills all-" "I just don't get bi women bringing their-" "pansexuality isn't a real thing-" "all lesbians-" "trans men really are men bcs they're all misogynistic predators-" "theyfabs-" "pfft aroace people are cringe-" "nonbinary people are actually all-" Instant block. Goodbye. Not listening. It's for both solidarity with your fellow queers AND to protect yourself, because once a person is convinced to hate one group for their immutable traits they can be convinced fairly easily to hate another too, and thus I do not trust them.

This, too, is a trashed bathroom; young queer people living through hell and having precious little control over their circumstances or the world in which they exist can affect something by using the language of social justice as a cudgel on their would-be allies, as well as getting a brief feeling of power over someone else by doing it.

Taking in a lot of the themes about creation in deltarune and thinking about Pink in chapter 5 had me thinking about her cousin and how he’d want to get in on making his dream come true as well (who wouldn’t?). It would be nice if MTT and Tenna could come to Castletown with Pink in chapter 6, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

I puzzled over drawing Pink as another ghost in the early part of the comic since ghosts in utdr lore dubiously can’t un-possess a vessel once they’ve chosen/bonded with it, and post-ch5, she’s possessing Asgore’s Mew Mew figurine, BUT for the sake of emoting/gesturing and showing her and MTT coming from the same place, I just had her as her ghost form. One last “HEY GUYS IM MOVING. GONNA GO LIVE AS MY REAL SELF BYE” before she’s gone. Gotta get her goodies, you know? And take her depressed cousin with her.

When MTT and Ralsei meet in the comic, I had Ralsei ask his name and pronouns, not only because it’s a first introduction and Ralsei is polite like that, but because he’s sensitive to the emotions of the Lightners. I also just like to see this greeting expressed in media because it should be so normal and natural, but with certain people in my life (even not explicitly anti-trans people) it turns a conversation tense or awkward. There’s nothing weird or wrong with asking someone’s preferred name and pronouns! And as a trans person, it doesn’t feel awkward to receive the question if it’s out of genuine respect and curiosity to get to know me. In fact, (like MTT in the comic) I’d be pleased to be extended that question in an introductory conversation. It’s no big deal to answer, just like answering “what’s your name?” Or “what are your hobbies?” It’s just another part of me, my gender identity. Nothing to be afraid of!

As for trans Ralsei, I see that trans coding within that goat… I don’t know what his gender identity is (since it seems even Ralsei has not figured that out about himself yet), but it’s there. Maybe we’ll see him explore more about himself, what he likes, who he feels he needs to be, and who he wants to be. And maybe Ralsei will realize she’s a girl or that they’re nonbinary (my personal headcanon leans Ralsei demigender—demigirl, demiboy, idk. But some kind of in-between) But that’s for Ralsei to figure out! I can only speculate… Whatever happens next for Ralsei, I hope he comes to love himself as an individual.

And Spamton. He enters the comic since he also has ties to MTT, but like with the rest of his life, he’s excluded, and worse, defeated by the reality of his world. It’s fiction, all of it. You might be able to draw the perfect you, might be able to imagine a body that would perfectly align with who you really are, but it’s all imaginary. An image. A dream. He’s trans despair (at least in this comic) for that discrepancy between body and mind that will always remain in some degree. His despair is the same as Mettaton’s despair, who narrates alongside Spamton’s visuals. They’re in unison there because they’ve both experienced the same feeling, only now with the help, care, support, and love of his community, Mettaton is able to feel more like himself—the true him through creation. It might be an imaginary Dark World, but it came to life with the love they all share, with the excitement they bring together to see Mettaton’s dream come to reality. When he leaves Castletown, he might just be a drawing of a fancy body, and Pink may just be a figure of a catgirl, but everyone they love helped them feel more themselves than they have their entire lives. And that made their real selves a reality.

And THAT’s why you share the pen with Spamton. He may be little and weird, you may not know him very well, but wouldn’t you have wanted that olive branch extended to you? Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to hand you the pen and tell you “I see you.”

HAPPY DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH!!!

I whipped this doodle together so I could have a pfp for it- I like the cleaving imagery enough that I'm happy with it but I wish I could represent the other disabilities I headcanon him with(mental disorders, hypermobility, chronic fatigue, frequent illness, whatevers up with his antennas ect he has many disabilities im sure im forgetting some). Considering the fact that Tenna is one of THE most disability-coded characters in the game, I wish he was more celebrated in this fact! And as someone who is both mentally and physically disabled, I always feel the need to step up to the task.

The things I struggle with are a massive part of my life- everyone who's disabled can attest to that. Having to plan your spoon usage for your day, having to find ways around inaccessibility, falling behind, doctors refusing to listen or treat you with respect- it's a day by day process that feels like an uphill climb. When I write about Tenna, something that's important to me is that I show just how difficult it would be to get back up from what he's been through, a battle that he has to fight every day whether he wants to or not. It's tough, and it's hard to accept this part of yourself, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can take care of yourself and live a more comfortable life. Easier said than done, obviously, but I wanted to explain why writing him as disabled as he is is important.

Fellow disabled folk- it's hard, but you're doing a good job and I'm proud of you. You don't need to be an inspiration. Just surviving is enough. You are worthy of that.

on the other hand...