scattered notebook pages and spilled thoughts

I love characters who are like "I'm a terrible person" but when you look closer it's more like

It's wild to watch the phrase "tumblr sexyman" morph into "man that tumblr thinks is sexy," because when I first saw the phrase come into use, I always saw it used in reference to the phenomenon of "when presented with a wide array of fictional characters, tumblr will always pick the skinny white man to obsess over, and if the fan-favorite character has no canonical human appearance, the fandom will inevitably create a popular fanon of the character as as a skinny white man."

Things I think of when I hear "tumblr sexyman":

thinking about the time a former housemate said to me "hey I put these box fans in the living room because it's hot" while gesturing to the fans that I was actively sitting in front of because it was hot. and I said "okay thanks." and she kept standing there like she was waiting for something else so I said "am I blocking the airflow? do you need me to move?" and she said no I'm just letting you know they're here, in the living room, for circulation. and I said well yes, I did put that together. I am enjoying them. thank you. and she looked confused. so I asked "am I meant to do something with this information or are you just informing me?" and she said no I'm letting you know they're here because It's Hot In Here. she seemed a bit aggravated, and her emphasis seemed deliberate.

I have observed enough allistic communication to know that generally, if somebody points something out to you that you can already see or are already clearly interacting with, they are making an indirect request. but as I don't know what the request is, the only way forward is for me to guess (and likely get it wrong), or prompt the allistic to tell me clearly what they need.

something i think isn't explored enough in the hail mary fandom is that while yes, humans are biologically a weird mess consisting of good enoughts that's just not efficient at all, the reason we're like is because of mutations that all happened because of a bunch of random environmental factors and our biology trying really hard to keep us alive in those situations.

#I have SO many headcanons in the works#I believe some eridans would have eating problems - difficulty opening or closing their ventral seal could be deadly without intervention#methinks egg fusion is a holdover from parasitic egg laying practices. Have your egg steal some other animals egg nutrients.#until there came a time when host eggs grew too powerful and only eggs that were laid with another eridian survived anymore#thusly Eridian eggs are technically immune to each other. And modern Eridians are born with certain nutrient deficiencies that used to be#handled by said ancient parasitism. Newborns need to play a lot of catch up (which helped contribute to social development.#our collective babies are HUNGRY and they are hungry for this extremely specific thing we now need urgently! We can only pull this off#if we work together! With the power of friendship!!)#I believe Eridians are not immune to concussion. Gotta be careful not to literally break your brain! It could cut up your insides!#Some Eridian worker cells origanate from COMPLETELY unrelated animals. ancient cross contamination becomes modern body plan.#so there are a few cells and interior structures that are literally useless and belong to different creatures entirely#and they still have to feed it or the intrusive cells will starve out the rest. Cant remove them either or an essential system will break!#gotta love billions of years of randomized trial and error!