a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

the reason critical role is so good is because every campaign features at least one cast member creating a character that they intend to be doomed by the narrative and matt and the rest of the cast going don’t be an idiot, Our Love Will Undoom Them. like in the explanation of percy’s final playlist, taliesin wrote, “Cheers to a happy ending for a character intended by his creator to be karmically irredeemable. May we all be so fortunate.” and just, Yeah.

@your-turn-to-role i hope you don't mind me stealing your tags #like. caleb's story has its special place in my heart too - but that one at least was more freeform#percy's though? percy's is formulaic. he hits every single beat of a very well known story#and he was supposed to die at glintshore. that was the end taliesin was expecting and the end his archetype should have had#but vex saved him. percy didn't expect it taliesin didn't expect it but she did#and then you get this wonderful uncharted territory that gets to be just a little meta in its exploration#bc like. taliesin is someone who's dealt with suicidal thoughts before he knows how to handle that story and percy is directly in it#percy knows the tropes. he ALSO expected to die at glintshore.#and then what you get is the teen who always assumed they'd die before they ever had to live an adult life against all odds surviving#and i find late game percy to be an extremely accurate representation of that and all its complications#something you rarely see in fiction#but it's the last episode that gets me the most. bc taliesin still didn't know how to end this story. and neither did percy#there wasn't a formulaic way to wrap this up bc percy wasn't supposed to get to this point alive. so what does he do now?#taliesin was gonna have him just try and sacrifice himself for vax. get back on those rails. but he doesn't get a response#and in that silence right at the end of the story taliesin talks about only then realising what's happened here#percy is an extremely traumatised kid and he has NEVER talked about it. even after everything he was still kinda waiting to die#but there's no time left to wait anymore. story's ending kiddo - and you're still standing. you have to commit to that#and if you've taken tragic death off the table now there's only one ending left. to get better#and for that you have to want it and you have to ask for help. so vex asks him if he's okay and for the first time he tells her everything#and i've never seen a character ending be so optimistic in quite the same way#percy de rolo

the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

Kidnapping teenage girls seems kind of worse than being stupid and uncultured, in the grand scheme of things.

suddenly the fucking

they must've opened the fridge