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Today's Document
DEAR READER
almost home
RMH
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@themasked-trickster

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i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven
Congratulations on the cat

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thinking fondly of this meme I made for a coworker years and years ago
this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3
i Always read the name of xichen's xiao as liebling instead of liebing which honestly feels fitting to me, like he would have a spiritual weapon named darling
art by @niochemblyat
I always know its getting toasty out in the world because girls start reblogging this post like crazy
yall aren’t gonna believe this
I swear to god I tried to grab my phone but I couldn’t without ruining the moment
He wouldn’t lEAVE
I’m so fucking proud of my weird wet son
IT IS A THING NOW
Important update: it has been several weeks and little mans still needs to inspect and rub his face on the shower head every single night before bed so after washing up and putting on my jimjams I then have to get up on a stool like

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here's where to find it on windows 10
Ugh, it was in mine. It's off now.
IT GETS WORSE
I had to turn this off, but it's something that allows Windows and anyone using your device to generate text/images.
LOBOTOMIZE YOUR MACHINES
AI is a freacking plague, I share this for any windows user.
“… Sorry for saying BJ at the Oxfam Gala.” – Mae Martin on biphobia
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either
Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines
I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”
every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid
#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)
Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.
trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine
How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.
:/
this is so fucking funny
update:
we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor
In like 1998 my very femme lesbian friend went to Pride in London and was all excited at the “teddy bears picnic” happening in one of the city parks. She took along a picnic hamper and her cuddly teddy bear. Needless to say, the large hairy gay men all thought she was adorable and she had a great time

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absolutely flabbergasting to see people who have so enthusiastically succumbed to despair. like okay denethor, but some of us are gonna actually face the armies of mordor in battle nonetheless.
The thing about Denethor is that he not only succumbed to despair, he wanted to ensure that Faramir succumbed with him. Similarly, a lot of people now are not only succumbing to despair, they're actively proselytizing despair, trying to convince others to join them in their hopelessness. Despair is apparently lonely and they want company in their self-immolation.
btw denethor succumbed to despair bc he was doomscrolling on the palantir. Sauron tweaked his algorithm so he only saw bad news, and he fell into the trap of thinking the world couldn't be saved.
Yes yes i know love is love. But they are still killing CHILDREN. over this.