The Local Void

i think about this tiktok literally every day

this is the best tiktok i've ever seen in my life.

Fire mage

He’s a firebender!

Old man insults are wild. "Slut", "Whore", "Dumb Bitch"..... Sir, those are respectable occupations. Call me a landlord

No, you parasite who doesn’t pay rent

Wouldn't need to pay rent if I could buy the house I live in duckfuck

Yes, but also, if you did things like “But does the dryer work? Heating? Hot water? Do the walls have insulation? Anyone done anything about the crack shack out back? How about the paperwork for my lease? That been done? How about the leaky sink? When was the last time the filter in the upstairs vent was changed? Do the smoke detectors work? Does the toilet flush reliably? What about the septic tank? Does it back up into the house?” would all be your problems.

They're my problems NOW

I mean it’d be your job to solve them. What it takes to make your landlord do theirs is another story.

My landlord takes half the paycheck of thirty working people and lives in a house she owns in a different city

i don’t think native english speakers can ever fully appreciate the emotion i felt when i first found out that the vulnerable spot on the side of your forehead which is arguably the best spot to be kissed is called your temple 

JDHSKXHSK I’M LOSING IT OVER THIS

OH MY GOD THE cat is enchanted

@corixr

I like to think this piece is called “The Kitten’s Lullaby”, and it was considerately written not to use the very keys his cat occupies.

every sentence in this is like being punched from a different direction

Cannot get over how accurate those text images are in describing the intonation of the dialogue.

Waste their time.

i’m gonna die laughing at this and i want it on my fucking gravestone

The couple seconds before the moment they realize what's going on.

this has given me so much serotonin