First of all, this is the moon.

LOLCAT BE DOIN' ABDUCSHUNS

the idea that a sex scene in fiction is fundamentally useless/simply for audience titillation UNLESS they’re fucking infodumping exposition while they bone or something is so funny and myopic to me. like, you really genuinely believe for real that there is NOTHING to be gained about your understanding of a story or characters simply from how they approach and engage in sex? really for real?

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

I love it when media fucks up the wording of the Rasputin disclaimer and ends up with shit like "any resemblance to people or locations living or dead is coincidental". I'd love to know what committing libel against a dead location would entail.

Fuck the Fiesta Mall in Mesa, AZ. I heard it ate someone once.

if you build “community” around hating other people, just know that the second you step out of line—regardless of your moral uprightness or the hypocrisy on their part—you’re the next person they’re going to tear to pieces.

its actually easy to de-enshittify your digital experience all you need to do is install this browser extension and this browser extension and this browser extension and input this custom script into the advanced box and go into your system settings and reconfigure all these options you didnt know existed and change your entire workflow and switch to this alternative operating system and this alternative web browser and this alternative chat client and this alternative word processor and this alternative- sorry that one turned out to be malware delete that one okay now double check your task manager for unwanted background processes and element block these ads and invest in a good VPN and append all your searches with AI blocking keywords and wait a few years until everything you just did becomes shitty too so you can do it all over again okay kitten. its literally that easy.

I hope my spider fucking book will hold universal appeal

The Manic Orthorexic - Flash sautee your single origin organic heirloom vegetables in a carbon fiber steel wok (never aluminum!) with an ounce of (distilled!) water. Season with three grains of non-iodized Japanese sea salt, as much flaxmeal, wakame and sesame seed "cheese" as you want, and finish with 3 ml cold pressed greek olive oil. Remember: Cheese is worse than heroin. Butter is the antichrist. White rice, wheat and potatoes killed my entire family with hammers. If your produce isn't grown within 2 miles of your house you'll probably die. Sugar [book bursts into flames and emits a shrieking noise]

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

Not to put too fine a point on it but Fat is a macronutrient. Like you need a lot more mass of it every day than all the vitamins combined. Like haha funny post but no really Fat is a nutrient yes your body is craving vitamin grease.

You play boardgames? That's cool (as long as everyone involved in consenting)! I support consensual boardgameing! Consenting adults should be allowed to play boardgames in the privacy of their own home! I like to practice ethical boardgaming with as many partners as the game's box recommends!