Madfoxeyes

i fuck up a lot so the main thing you can count on me to not fuck up is that I will fuck up

Was trying to make a joke about TV writing to my friend the other day and had to pause and go "...does the phrase 'surf dracula' mean anything to you?"

image description: tweet by @/topherflorence, reading: back in the day if u did a tv show called surf dracula you'd see that fool surfing every week in new adventures but in the streaming era the entire 1st season gotta be a long ass flashback to how he got the surfboard until you finally get to see him surf for 5 min in the finale /end description

So many of these could all be the names of either truly depraved Sex Acts or Organized Crime Executions

I am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

(snaps out of it) OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING!! HOLY JESUS CHRIST FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TRY TO STOP ME (eases back into it) ahhhh. yeah this feels right

This is why you shouldn't take off The Amulet to shower.

Yeah frogs don’t have ribs. It’s a quick way to identify and bullshit ‘info’post about the ‘correct way’ to hold a frog. They seem to constantly mention hurting their non-existent ribs.

It's such a disappointment that tearing someone's throat out with your teeth kills them. Sex would be so much more fun if we could maul each other and come back from it.

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women