Dragon Fluff and Nuggle Snugs

Dwarves shit huge and pee little… elves pee large and shit barely at all

However:  Dwarves find belching polite and good fun, a compliment to the drink and cook. Farting, however, is crass– after all, farting in a mine shaft? Just think about it. It’s like blasting your buddies in the car and locking the windows, but in this case there are no windows to lock. You’re just sealed up in the darkness, inhaling Dvalin’s particular brand of beer-cheese-eggs-and-mushroom while your beard hairs curl and your eyes water.  Conversely, Elves rip ass all the time because they subsist on fart fuel. Because they eat plant matter, they aren’t too ripe but they are loud enough to rattle the surrounding forestry, which the Elves delight in. Proper Elvish farts are released right next to an innocent victim in a stealth maneuver, as quietly as possible. The aggressor stands innocently nearby, until the victim begins to protest and complain and accuse, at which time a good laugh is had by all (except the unfortunate victim). The other beloved Elvish tradition is to loudly rip one in a quiet room, then firmly and solemnly chasten the nearest Elf for it– this one is favored by elder, Elves with the most dignified personalities. 

Who the fuck decided we needed this?

Jggfjkjffb

Fyi

@thegillyfox

You damn well know why.